Positively Optimistic Day #9- Breaking the Habit

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”~Aristotle

Isn’t it so easy to fall back into old habits? You could be practicing something everyday, but then all of a sudden something comes along and ruins it for you. I’ve noticed this before when I was dieting. I would be doing great but then all of a sudden someone comes and offers me a pizza and there it goes. That was actually how I stopped being a Vegetarian as a child. For those of you who don’t know I was a very opinionated little girl who was mule-headed and did my own thing. Just got to say I was a vegetarian before it became popular like now a days- hipster alert- I know haha.

Anyways I was a vegetarian for 3 years of my childhood. Now what ruined it for me? I’ll tell you what ruined it for me the smell of fried chicken that my mom brought home. You don’t know how hard it was for 3 years as a child to smell some bomb-ass chicken and not have a bite. I honestly think I had more self control then, then I do now as an adult. But regardless one day I was fed up with smelling it and I had a piece of fried chicken. That was it..that’s all it took to throw 3 years of effort out the window. Not that it was wasted at all. I probably helped save a lot of animals with the that many years.

Anyways back to my point with that example is that you can work really hard at something and sometimes you can fall back into old habits. I have seen this many times in my life. I’m sure you reading this can relate as well. Maybe you were constantly working out everyday, but decided to take a day off, and then another, and another, and yeah let’s just take a day off until New Years. I know I have been there.

That’s how I was so amazed when I lost 60 lbs. I woke up everyday to exercise and eat healthy. There were sometimes in my journey where I did fall off sometimes, but I got right back into it again. I decided to make a life change and I stuck to it. That’s what I’m trying to do now just with re-wiring my brain. I did a lot of work mentally losing the weight (as I will tell everyone trying to lose weight it’s more a mental journey); however I’m not where I want to be yet. I’m a whole lot more positive than I used to be, but I know with all this effort I’m putting in to focus solely on it I will get where I want to be and hopefully even continue to grow for the rest of my life.

What I’m trying to say it’s really hard to break an habit. I have been seeing this constantly today. When something negative happens I just want to get mad or just have a pity party for myself. Today I was starting that old negative habit. My job only gave me 8 hours again this week, and I immediately went into anger mode.

“This is so unfair!”

“Don’t they understand I can’t live on this income?”

“This is ridiculous! This isn’t even part time!”

“Why hasn’t any other job called me back?”

“What do I do if I run out of money?”

“I don’t want to be homeless.”

Blah. Blah. Blah. Blaaah.

My mind never knows how to shut up. I then took a deep breathe and told myself that things could be worse. I then went out to go get coffee and to work on other job applications. Then as soon as I try parking my car it starts rolling backwards. It then didn’t want to start.

“What the HECK?!!”

“Can I not catch any break what-so-ever?”

I then took a breath and started to breath again.

“Think positive Amber. It could be worse. The car could have hit someone or another car.”

I then manged to get the car to turn back on and parked it at a safer spot where it wouldn’t roll. I got inside, put my stuff down, and guess what I forgot? My phone.

“How on Earth did I forget my phone? I’m attached to it 99% of the time!”

“No one better steal my computer as I go out to get it.”

Again, I went with the negative self talk. I came back in got my coffee and just took a deep breath. IT. COULD. BE. WORSE.

Which now writing about all of this I find it kind of humorous I was getting mad at all of this. I let one thing let me spiral into a mad, negative person like I have been trying not to be like. After all of that I started working on new job applications. I also resorted to seek advice from my brilliant, much wiser cousin Lynn. That was me taking a negative situation and turning it around to a positive one. I could have just went back home and cried about my life, but I decided to be proactive instead.

When I did that you wouldn’t believe it my luck got all of a sudden much better. As I was working on job applications I happened to check my e-mail. What happened to be in my e-mail? That I got the job I had interviewed for. I thought I didn’t get it because no one called me letting me know, but there it was in all its marvelous glory. I could have kissed the e-mail, but I didn’t as I probably would have received many strange looks from people doing so.

It was like magic. My whole day got better just by that e-mail. Isn’t that funny how little things like you receiving not enough hours at work can make you negative, yet you receive a letter of acceptance and you get overjoyed. I’ve noticed I’ve let situations determine whether I’m happy or not. And that’s a big reason I decided to start this blog in the first place. Yet I let one little thing try to rob me from that.

It’s hard to break my old negative habit, but I’m so glad I’m doing it! I know it is going to be worth it. Honestly it already has. Yes, I’ve had negative things happen to me, but overall I have been so much more happier since I’ve been practicing looking at life through a positive lens. And I know realistically me thinking a new way isn’t just going to happen overnight like how I want it to. It’s like exercising. You got to build that muscle. You can’t see a change in your mind, your scale, or basically anything unless you put in the hard work that needs to go into it.

Luckily for me I’m one of the most hardworking people I know. So I know I am going to conquer this! I also want all of you to know that you can do the same. Just because you haven’t succeeded in the past doesn’t mean that you won’t succeed this time. You have got all the strength you need to do whatever it is you need to do right inside of you already. You just got to look deep within and find it yourself.

I hope you are all having a beautiful day. I’ll talk to you all tomorrow!,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

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