Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Jim Rohn
I’d like to tell you by all the work I’ve put in so far that I’m now incredibly happy, but to tell you all that it would be a lie. I’ve been trying to think a lot on what I can do to make myself happy. What job I can get, where I should live, what hobbies I can pick up etc.
The thing is I’m realizing no matter what I do or where I go it’s not going to make me happy. The true happiness starts from inside of me. Yes, everything else has a factor in alittle of my happiness but nothing is going to make me truly happy if I’m not happy with myself first. And I’ve known this, but it’s now really hitting me hard because I see a pattern.
I notice I’ll be excited and happy about something but then when it doesn’t go as planned I get unhappy again. Even though I have made great changes in my life I have still to learn to be happy with me. I notice that anything that happens to me like today where someone went out of their way to do something very mean to me..I let it bring me down. I let it effect the happiness within myself.
The whole day today I was upset over this event. Now that being said it was a horrible thing to do to anyone. It was a form of bullying and harassment that someone wanted to do to see me get hurt. I won’t go into details because I don’t want to focus anymore energy on it.
The point is I let this thing bother me so much that I let myself go back to a dark place. However; I shouldn’t have let what happened bring me down because that’s what they wanted. They wanted to get me to react negatively.
I kept thinking to myself to just get over it. But the thing is it wasn’t really them. It was a reminder of how I felt about myself and that’s what hurt the most. I didn’t love myself enough to not let what they did define me.
As I’ve had time to reflect upon this today I realized that’s why no matter what thing I do doesn’t make me happy. It’s because I don’t feel happy within and that’s reflecting on the outside. Yeah this event would have still happened but I had a choice whether or not I’d let it get me down or not and I choose the first one.
I am working on loving myself more like I’ve wrote about in my previous blogs, but after today I realized I need to step it way, way up. I need to put more effort into myself instead of trying to find happiness in everything else like I’ve been doing.
So I think I’m going to do more research in the love department. The “self” love department I should say. And I’m going to keep you all updated on how it goes and how it helps me.
Welps talk to you all tomorrow,