Positively Optimistic Day #65- Cinderella Lost Her Shoe

“I don’t need the Prince Charming to have my own happy ending.”- Katy Perry

I think it’s most little girls dream to meet Prince Charming, fall madly in love, and fly away into the castle in the sky. I never came out and said “I want a man”, but I always secretly loved the idea that there was someone out there that was meant for you. You know those hopeless romantics? That’s like me times like 20..yeah it’s really bad.

I will admit now I still very much believe in soulmates. I believe in finding someone who is meant for you; just like in the movies. Seem may few this as childish, and maybe it is a little, but I absolutely believe in it. Even though I’m still very much a hopeless romantic. My views have changed about it in ways.

I used to believe that when I meet the right guy my life would be perfect. That my problems would suddenly go away, and I could depend on him. This part of the fantasy changed for me. I realized through many relationships and life experiences there is no actual “prince charming” who’s going to take you from rags to riches. Don’t get me wrong about the story of Cinderella. I’ve always loved that story. However; for young girls I think it teaches the wrong message.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting true love. What I think is wrong is that Cinderella didn’t stand up for herself in the first place. She had to  get all glam by the Fairy Godmother just to show that she was good enough to marry the prince. The prince and her then fall in love by one dance. They didn’t even say anything to each other for my knowledge either.

Why I hate this message:

  1. It teaches young girls that guys will only notice you/ love you solely on their looks.
  2. It teaches young girls to believe the answer to their problems is to change themselves.
  3. Cinderella shouldn’t have needed a guy to get away from her horrible family.

This is why I love, love, love the movie “A Cinderella Story” that has Hilary Duff (my idol since like ever) and Chad Michael Murray (aka hunk, aka heart throb, aka 100 out of 10). It’s a more modern version of the story of Cinderella, but what I love about this movie is that she realizes she doesn’t need his or anyone else’s approval. That she had all she needed in her all along. And she finds love as a bonus. To me that’s what we should aspire to.

I feel like no one should depend on anyone for their confidence or to solve their problems (not just romantic relationships..any relationship). If you fall in love that is great, but never let that person define you. You should feel whole on your own.

I used to be a big believer in you are half a person then you find your other half. Now I think that is utter crap. You shouldn’t expect someone to make up for the things you lack. You should work on the areas you need to improve on and do everything in your life to your best ability.  I want you to imagine if you are a full person and your partner is a full person. Imagine how much you could both do in this world! That is so much better than sitting around not improving yourself just so your “prince charming” can come kiss you and make everything better.

You can do that all on your own. Same thing applies to guys as well. You don’t need a woman to feel complete either. We all just think we need that “someone”. So we rush into relationships, get married to years later down the line regret it because you weren’t a whole person on your own. People also realize they didn’t take a chance to REALLY get to know their partner and they were both actually wanting very different things from one another.

Yet I see so many people my age rush into marriage just like their parents and grandparents did before them without getting to know themselves first. I’m not saying you can’t get married young. More props to you if you can find the love of your life early on in your life, but many people do it just because they fill like it will “complete” and because everyone makes it such a big deal out of it. I can promise you though if you get married just for the sake to be married you are not going to feel “complete” and you are still going to feel unhappy because you didn’t find joy inside yourself first.

This is a stupid metaphor/ example, but I literally lost my one shoe this morning. And guess what I found it all on my own. I feel like this is so true in life. We are all looking for things in life, but it is our job to find them. We could let others try to find them for us, but it’s just not the same as when we find it on our own. So my advice to all of you before you find the “right one”, find yourself first. I promise you will be glad you did!

Write to you all tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

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