“You can live your life angry, bitter, mad at somebody or even guilty, not letting go of your own mistakes, but you won’t receive the good things God has in store.”-Joel Osteen
As you all know I haven’t written in a while and I want to tell you all a little bit why. I’ve been needing some time to just work on me. By myself without putting it out there.
As many of you probably know I’m in an amazing relationship right now. With a person I care so deeply about that no words could describe. I’m so lucky to have found him. I believe with every ounce of me that he’s the love of my life.
The thing is though I discovered once I got into the relationship that I still needed to feel voids in me that I haven’t filled. In the past I tried to fill these voids with a relationship but I decided this time would be different. Because even though he adds so much happiness to my life I know it’s my ultimate job to make myself happy in all areas of my life.
He has been so great to me through this tough time where I’ve felt so empty. I’ve cried with him and some friends about how I feel a hole. I came to realize this hole had to do with my purpose and not letting go of my past failures.It’s no secret that I’m self critical.
It has been a really rough journey internally. I realized that even though I talked so much about loving myself in my other blog posts I wasn’t really loving myself truly. I have all these people that love me and are there for me, but yet I have trouble being there for myself.
I have had a hard time letting happiness into my life. Feeling unworthy. I would keep saying I’ll do something for my life eventually but then I never end up doing it. I decided today I’m over that stage in my life and I’m going to start going after the things that matter to me.
Believe it or not this blog means so much to me but I needed time to realize just how much it truly does mean. I’m sorry it’s been so long guys but I’m going to put so much more into it now. Because this blog does make me happy and now I’m going to make it a priority again.
Thank you all for reading,
Love Amber ❤️❤️❤️