My Funny Little Valentine

 

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

Guess what holiday is right around the corner? It’s everybody’s ‘favorite’ holiday. You guessed it right…Valentines Day.

Ahhh Valentines Day

The day where we all binge watch Titanic as we stuff as many on-sale candies down as possible. Maybe that’s just me? Regardless Valentines Day does not always get the best repetition for itself.

It seems like either people really love it because they are in a relationship with their sweetie or they loathe it because their relationship status on Facebook has remained the same for much longer than they’d like. As I get older I realize how utterly ridiculous this idea of hating Valentines Day is. To the point I think we should all make the hashtag #StopShamingValentinesDay a trend.

As this years Valentine’s Day arises for me I should be all sad, because me and my ex just filed for divorce. Most people would think I would extremely loathe Valentines Day at this point, but honestly for me it’s quite the opposite. I think it’s a beautiful holiday. Let me explain why.

The media makes Valentines Day all about having to be in this fantastic relationship with your soulmate and when we we are not we feel less then. However; Valentines Day is so much more than just being with your ‘perfect’ person. It is about love, and I think that should be way more accounted for. Love is way more than just between two people in a romantic relationship.

Love also manifests in so many other relationships. Such as between you and your family members, you and God, you and your child, you and your friend, you and yourself, and last but certainly not least your pet. There are so many relationships in our lives that include love in that doesn’t involve a romantic relationship. To me Valentines Day should be all about celebrating love in general.

There is so much love in this world that we should also celebrate. I challenge you all this Valentines Day to celebrate all the kinds of different love in your life. Go do something with your friends or family. Go treat yourself to something you deserve. Do something that shows love to others and to yourself.

It’s funny for so many years I put so much focus on wanting to find that ‘perfect’ someone so I am quite proud of myself for reaching this point. I was always so obsessed with the idea of love. I even remember in pre-school I told my parents I was in love with this little boy I had a crush on and got so offended when they laughed at me. That idea of love was beautiful, but at the same time sometimes it’s all I could focus on. All I could think about was finding that special someone.

I can honestly say at this moment in my life I’m so content being on my own and I don’t want to be with anyone right now. I want to focus on me and creating the future I want for myself. Honestly with all the things I want to do right now I don’t really have time for a man. That being said I still truly believe that there is this special guy out there for me, but I’m not going to go out there searching for him anymore. I believe he’ll come into my life at the right time.

I think it’s always been hard for me to see so many of people I know from school who meet their soulmate in high school and are living happily ever after. There’s sometimes this feeling of jealousy that comes over me. However; I then remind myself that God has different plans for me. If my soulmate hasn’t entered my life yet it’s for a reason. I’m supposed to do other great things in my life before I met that person and guess what that’s okay. Because I’ve tried doing things my own way and it ended up in many toxic relationships, a short lived marriage, and a not a nice divorce.

Instead of rushing it like I used to I’m just going to enjoy the ride. I know the guy I’m going to end up with is going to be extremely special and treat me like the queen I deserve to be treated as. So no more settling. I’m going to work my butt off to become the best version of me and improve my life the best I can and as my cousin Lori would tell me “the one will come when you’re not looking.” I believe that is true.

To all of you single people reading this. STOP SETTLING. Also to those in a relationship that you know is toxic. STOP SETTLING. You all deserve all the happiness in the world. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Even if that means you are single longer. Who cares? Oh..wait..only you. Who else cares about how long you are single? Guess what? No one. Except maybe our mom who wants grand kids.

We all put so much energy into wanting to be in a relationship that we settle and that’s just wrong. It’s so much better to wait a while for what you deserve then to be with someone who makes you feel so alone. In my own personal experience I can tell you firsthand that is what happened in my last relationship. I was with someone who didn’t want to be with me like I wanted to be with them. They didn’t love me like I loved them. I spent so much time trying to convince them to love me more. I’d feel so alone.

I realized many things through that experience though. The main thing was that the person who is right for you, you will never have to make them try to love you. They are going to love you no matter what. Along with that what’s meant to be yours will find a way. If someone wants to leave your life let them go. One of two things will happen either one day they’ll come back in your life when the time is right or you will find someone better.

A strong part of me feels ashamed for the woman I was in that relationship. Begging for a guy to stay with her when he didn’t want to stay. I felt pathetic at the time and sometimes I still feel that way when I think back to it. However; I look at how much I’ve learned through it all and how much I’ve grown, and if I had to get that low to reach the high then all it really was, was a learning experience. I just know that I will never, ever put myself in that position again.

The difference is I know my worth now. I am not perfect by any means. However; I do not deserve to be treated horribly and to be with someone who didn’t really care about me. I see things in a whole different perspective then I did a few months ago. For that I’m so thankful to God most of all and to all the people who helped me get through that difficult time.

This Valentines Day I’m going to spend being so thankful for all the love I have in my life. For all the love I’ve ever been giving through out my life. I will let the others around me know how grateful I am for them and fill my own self up with love. And maybe still watch Titanic because it’s a great movie. Haha well that’s all I got for today.

Catch you all later dreamers,

Amber

 

2 thoughts on “My Funny Little Valentine

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