“By admitting your inadequacies, you show that you’re self-aware enough to know your areas for improvement – and secure enough to be open about them.”-Adam Grant

The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem and you need help. Seems so simple yet it’s not. It’s not easy admitting you have a problem or that you need help. I know this from personal experience.

I’ve gotten better over the years about it, but for so long I’ve tried to conquer everything on my own. Including my issues. Lately it’s hitting me hard that some things I deal with need to be addressed and not ignored anymore. I don’t know about you all but I certainly go through times where I just pretend everything is ok when it’s not. Like that one meme where the cartoon dog is saying everything is fine when his house is in flames.

Today I want to challenge you all to be brave enough to accept your weaknesses and be willing to work on them. To not be afraid to ask for help from others who can help you. Be brave lovelies! It’s worth it just like you are!

Talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

“Today remind yourself that nothing is too good to be true. Your great hopes can be realized. Your most wonderful dreams can come true. All that you really need, you can have. An incredible goodness is operating on your behalf. If you are living a paltry life, resolve to stop it today. Expect great things to happen.”

– Norman Vincent Peale

I can’t be the only one in life who’s felt like they were on an episode of Punkd when something good happened to them. It’s like “Oh yeah I won this new car..totally..now where is the hidden cameras?!”

It sometimes feels like we have so much crap happen to us all the time that when something good comes along it seems like a joke. You want to say “…just wait for it.” However; I want to tell you all that good things still exist in the world and no you are not on an episode of punkd. You don’t have to live your life thinking that everything positive that happens in your life is an April Fools joke.

If something good comes into your life I want to challenge you all to stop questioning it a billion times and except it. After all you deserve it! You deserve all the happiness this world can offer you. Even if you don’t believe it is so.

I think many of us are just so scared to be happy because there’s a risk we could get hurt in the process. We have to decide if out happiness is worth that though. I have been through much hurt in my life. But thinking back now I much rather have happiness and get hurt then to have never experienced it at all. Plus if you refuse to be happy you still experience hurt anyway. With that logic “why not be happy?”

The only one that can get in the way of you and your happiness is you. You are the only person who can accept it or not accept it. So instead of saying for example an opportunity you may receive is “too good to be true.” Challenge it with “I deserve this opportunity.” If someone new comes into your life stop thinking “well look how it went with everyone else.”

Just stop the inner conflict in your head and just start to live in the moment. Don’t give your happiness all away.

Until tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

You ever notice how good you feel after cleaning something? The feeling of accomplishment. I don’t know about all of you but after I get done cleaning it’s one of the best feelings. It helps me feel so much better. There’s just something so satisfying about removing trash and clutter out of somewhere.

What’s amazing is you can do this same thing in your life. If something is “cluttering” your life you have the power to remove it and feel so much better. Whether the clutter be something or someone. We all know something that is causing us to feel down.

My challenge for all of you today is to remove something that does you no good from your life. Maybe it’s an old habit you need to kick. Try replacing that with a new one instead. Whatever the negative thing is just remove that junk from your life.

Sorry for the short blog for today guys busy day but as always talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

“Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – Francis of Assisi

Today I wanted to take a chance to write about something pretty hard for me to talk about. I feel like if I talk about it though it will hopefully help one of you out there reading this and hopefully myself in the process. I’ve been open and honest with you all that I have dealt heavily with suicidal thoughts and tendencies. What I haven’t been open with is I still deal with suicidal thoughts.

My life has really turned around. I’ve got down to my idea weight. I eat healthy. I’ve made great friends. I got an amazing boyfriend! I got a job and a roof over my head. I have family who I know is there for me. I have this incredible blog where I’ve grown so much through and of course all of you wonderful readers who follow me on this journey!

Yet with all of there wonderful things I still with many inner demons. I’d lie and say if I don’t still struggle with feeling like everyone would be better off without me or how I could end my life. It’s been something I’ve felt for a very long time. I’ve seen therapists to help me through this and have taken medicine for it. In the back of my mind I thought if I just did one thing it would make all the pain go away.

The matter of it all is that there is no one thing that’s just going to make it all go away. The pain may never go away entirely. What I can do though is use every skill I have learned and apply it to my life. What I can do is bring in people and things in my life that motivate me. What I can do is set goals in my life to make my life feel like it’s worth living. What I can do is to do things for myself to show self love.

Life isn’t perfect and neither are we. At the end of the day we are all just human. And sometimes all we can do is just simply not give up. I can’t tell you how many times in my past I would just sleep to just not have to deal with the pain that was there. Some of the greatest accomplishments I have made is just deciding to get out of bed.

That may seem small to some but I don’t care. It’s big to me because every thing no matter what you do to take a step towards the right path is huge. I want you all to never, ever feel like taking just a little step in the right direction is too small. No- celebrate that! Celebrate you are taking one step closer to getting where you want to go.

Tonight I went on another walk and something just came over me. I just felt love. I felt a since of hope I haven’t felt since I’ve been a child. It was like God was right there telling me that everything is going to be alright. Like he was giving me a hug filled with so much love. In that moment everything seemed so beautiful! I stopped looking at all my problems for a second and just stopped to appreciate and be grateful for everything around me.

I started looking at how beautiful the sky was. How lucky I was to have certain people in my life. It then made my depression fade away. All because I made a decision to go out and walk instead of feeling sorry for myself.

I want to challenge you all if you all battle anything like depression like me or are just going through such a hard time I just dare you to do something. Go do something positive. You may not feel like it or feel like you don’t deserve it even. But I dare you to do it anyway. Get up out of that bed! Do something that will help you. Because you deserve it.

Much love and I’ll talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”-Lao Tzu

Today I went on a walk with a lot on my mind about my future. I was frustrated looking at where my life is compared to where I want it to be. Sometimes it feels like I’m just going no where.

I thought about this and I realized many people my age and older feel this same way. We see where we want to be, but we’re not there yet and it’s frustrating. You just see the vision and all you wish was that there was a magic button you could hit to just be there already.

Even though this idea is such a tempting idea. I want you and I to challenge it though. I want us to instead of viewing that we are not there as a bad thing, view it as a good. Life is truly a journey and the journey to get you to where you are going is what’s important.

If we got where we wanted to go automatically life would be boring. Also being able to go through different things on your path makes you discover yourself better. I know I wouldn’t have as good of an understanding of myself if I didn’t go through many things in my life.

I might sometimes think “why can’t I be at this point in my life already?” But then I remember life is a journey not a destination. The ride to where you’re going is more important than you’re actually stop because you learn so much more through that.

My advice to all of you is just take everyday one step at a time. Set goals and go after what you want but at the same time just enjoy the ride you take to get there.

Thanks for listening and I’ll talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

“The more we deny that we have a dark side, the more power it has over us.”-Sheryl Lee

It’s funny you watch movies like Star Wars and you hear the terms “Don’t go to the dark side.” I never really thought about it before, but that really resembles life. Whether we all want to admit it or not we all have a dark side. Some people’s dark sides just show more than others, but we all do in fact have one. And sometimes it’s hard not to go to that place.

My dark side has always been my depression. I’ve been open and honest on here about my struggle battling depression since I was a child. However; you all would not believe how some people drop you when they realize you deal with it. Luckily many people have stuck by my side even at the darkest times of my life. That being said though I have lost a whole lot of people too because they weren’t willing to stick by me when they realized I had a dark side.

Sometimes I get mad at myself and think “well if I wasn’t depressed I wouldn’t have lost those people.” Which may have some truth to it, but on the same token if those people had to leave because depression and not see all the other specialness I have about me..then they aren’t worth my tears. When people really love you/ care about you they are still going to be there for you no matter what. They may not like your dark side, but they look past it to see the true beauty that lies there. And they keep on loving you regardless of it.

Now keep in mind I’m not saying stay in an abusive relationship or let someone’s dark side bring you down constantly. You can still really love/ care about a person and need to have distance from them or cut them out of your life if it gets to an extremely toxic point. What I’m trying to say is if someone can’t except you for all of you; not just the pretty stuff then they are not worth it. I can’t tell you how many times I accepted others for their dark sides, but then when I asked them to accept mine they wouldn’t. It hurt..but now I can look back and be grateful, because I realized those people didn’t look past my dark side into who I really am.

You want people who accept you for everything not just what you post on Instagram. You are much more than a Facebook post, a picture, money, popularity, etc. We are all humans and our lives are much more than just the ‘nice things’. Life is also about the hard things like loss, pain, heart-break, and our dark sides. Of course we don’t like these things and we should not try to intentionally have them happen, but they are a part of life just as the great things in life are.

What I want to tell you all is that maybe you’re afraid other people are not going to accept your darkness, and you might be right some people may not, but the right people will. The ones that matter will love you through both your light and dark. So if you feel like no one is ever going to accept you for everything..I’m here to tell you there’s people out there that will. So I challenge you all to go out there are shine your bright lights, but don’t be scared of your darkness is going to scare everyone away. You will find those that will stay.

Until tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

If we experienced life through the eyes of a child, everything would be magical and extraordinary. Let our curiosity, adventure and wonder of life never end.- Akiane Kramarik

You ever put on an old song and just get brought back to another time? I love when I can just put my music on and it’s like I’m time traveling. It’s like I’m going back in time when I first heard that song. The feelings that I felt years ago suddenly come rushing back.

Today I’ve been listening a lot to the Grease soundtrack and that movie brings back so many memories for me. It was the first musical I ever watched and me and my mom would watch it over and over again when I was a little girl. When I listened to it today it’s like I went back in time to the first time I watched the movie with my mom and we sung along to the music. It still gives me the same happy energy that I felt when I was a small child.

I think that’s one reason I really love music as much as I do. It can give you such a special feeling. Honestly it’s one of the best feelings in the world to me when I can hear an old song come on, on the radio that I haven’t heard in years and just feel that same feeling I felt years ago come over me again. To me that’s just amazing.

I also get that feeling when I watch an old movie or t.v. show. It’s like this extreme nostalgia comes over me. It sounds weird but when I feel this old, nostalgic feeling I wonder how the old me would view my life now. I try to view things from a different perspective. It’s like “how would I think of this situation if I was still a child?”

If you all haven’t tried doing this before I highly suggest it. It’s really cool trying to look at world through the lens of a child. What’s so beautiful about children is when something happens to them it’s brand new and they have this cool perspective of the world. Then sadly their perspective tends to get warped by other people’s perspective. So instead of viewing something as they want to view it they start viewing it the way other people do because they feel like that is the “right way” of viewing something. Which I think is pretty messed up.

Today I want to dare all of you to look at something in your life as a child would- like it was the first time. Stop letting others morph your idea of how something should be or feel. Have your own perspective. View things like it’s your first time ever viewing it. Shut everyone else’s voices out and just listen to your own voice. Let your feelings be like when you heard a song for the first time as a child. Challenge yourself to go back in time with your perspective.

Thank you all for reading!

Talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️