Hi Dreamers,

Tonight I’ve been really thinking about things in my own life that need to be changed. I’ve been thinking of the aspects in my life that have been bringing more bad then good. It then came clear to me that I am in a need of a detox in various areas of my life.

One area I clearly see in my life currently that I need to detox from is being burnt out from overworking myself. Sometimes I feel like all I do is work. I have moments here and there where I feel like I do something to where I feel like I’m enjoying my life, but if I’m honest for the last few years it has been this constant grind of working all the time, because of a fear of not having enough money to get by. At one point I worked almost a year without taking a day off of work. I traded my well being for money.

I get why I have fallen in this trap of feeling like I have to work all the time. I get that it’s this rooted fear deep down inside of me that if I don’t I won’t be okay. That I won’t get by. Ironically though by working this much though I am not getting by because I’ve been destroying myself over this rooted fear. This is the main aspect of my life that I realize I want to detox from. I’m not saying to not work, or work hard, but I need stop overworking myself to the point that it’s killing myself in the process.

Another area I’m wanting to detox is being on my phone. I’ve detoxed from social media a lot in the past, but I really want to detox from my phone in general. I want to focus on other parts of my life that I cannot find on my Iphone. I want to be more present in my life and enjoy what is around me instead of being glued to my phone constantly. Just spending my precious time wasted away on watching TikToks or a funny meme on Facebook. I want to spend more of my time doing activities I enjoy like writing, reading, photographing, drawing, working out, and finding new hobbies for myself to enjoy.

A third area of my life that I want to detox is the people I let into my life. This applies to all my relationships with family, friends, and people I’m dating. I will drag myself down to make these people happy, but what I’m really doing in the process is abandoning my own happiness. I will also let people in my life that I know haven’t been good for me, but I stick with it anyway to feel any since of validation. But I don’t want to be like that anymore. I want to feel validated through my own sense of self worth and create happiness that is not reliant on anyone else.

I really want to be intentional about detoxing these areas of my life. I want my life to be full and happy and I realize now that I really need to change these parts of my life so it can be that way. I encourage you to find something you want to detox in your life as well. I’m sure we can all find things in our life that we could detox from if we really look at our lives.

Well have a beautiful night Dreamers,

Love Amber

Hey Dreamers,

As a kid they tell you that junk food is bad for you. As I get older I see how that is also a metaphor for other things in your life. Sometimes what we want in our lives in this moment is not what is going to benefit us in the long run. We can want something, but in the end it’s not what we really need. I have found this in countless ways in my life.

Just like junk food gives you that instant gratification other things in life can give you that instant gratification as well. Just because it gives you that instant gratification though doesn’t mean it will benefit you in the grand scheme of things. Eating a bag of cookies may make you happy in the moment, but later down the road when you have health issues from making it a habit you won’t be happy.

One example I have seen this outside of food is with certain relationships that I’ve had in my life. Certain relationships (not just romantic ones) I kept in my life even though I knew those relationships were bad for me. I tend to always try to see the good in others. This a quality I love about myself; however, it can also be a bad one when you don’t set boundaries for yourself. I’ve learned through the years that even though people can have great qualities and treat you really good sometimes that doesn’t mean they deserve access to your life. For example, I had an ex who would treat me badly a good percentage of the time. He would yell at me and disrespect me a bunch. On the rare occasion he would do something nice like bring me flowers or had qualities that I thought he must be the right person for me. Like with junk food I would have a happy ‘high’ sometimes, but mostly I felt depressed/ sad/ anxious.

Another example of this could be shopping. Maybe you are having a bad day and go buy something really expensive that you don’t necessarily need. It gives you that high when you purchase it at first, but then that high feeling wears off quickly when you think about how you are already in debt and how this impulse buy is going to deepen that debt even further. One of the best examples of this that I can think of is social media. When you get a like or a follow you feel pretty good, but you are getting that feeling by being validated from others instead of looking within to validate yourself on your own.

As the years go on the human race is becoming more and more addicted to being instantly high than taking the harder route of working entirely to be happy, but for the long haul — not just for a quick fix.

Dreamers, today I want you to ask yourself if you fall into this junk food metaphor anywhere in your life and if you do I want to challenge you to come up with ways you can change this instant high for real, true sustainable happiness.

Thanks for listening Dreamers,

Love always Amber

Hey Dreamers,

There is this new/ old concept going around right now and I’m all for it. It is called Lucky Girl Syndrome. This has been all around social media right now. On TikTok, YouTube, and I was even hearing about it on a podcast that I listen to. I think it is a cute, new way to refer to manifesting as a woman. The concept of it isn’t that hard to grasp. It’s basically what it says in the name. The concept is being a ‘lucky girl’. You basically believe that you are lucky and you attract great things to your life.

It’s the same accept thing as manifesting something in your life, but putting a particular title to it. I’ve been challenging myself to recently use this title for myself. I remember a few years ago one of my friends called me the “unluckiest person” he had ever met. It then occurred to me when he said that I didn’t want to be ‘unlucky’. That year in particular I had one thing after another happen where it did feel like I was unlucky. But when I made up my mind that I didn’t want to be “unlucky” or the “victim” of my life I saw my life start to change in powerful ways. Things that were a problem in my life started to either go away or get better. I didn’t call myself a lucky girl, but I decided that I wasn’t unlucky like my friend had told me in that phone call.

I started learning more about how I felt and thought about my life manifested these negative outcomes and how they could also have the power to manifest positive ones. Since then I have gotten better at manifesting positive experiences over negative ones. It takes a shift in your perspective. I challenge you Dreamers, if you feel ‘unlucky’ take a look at your life around you and see what you are ‘lucky’ for. There’s more in your life you could be grateful for more than you can imagine. For example, me writing this blog freely. I am able to freely express what I want to on here and that honestly is very ‘lucky’ and something I often take for granted. There is plenty of things to feel grateful/ lucky about if we take the chance to just look around and really appreciate what’s in front of us. The air we breathe, being able to see/ hear, having the opportunity to get an education, etc., etc. So many things in our lives we are lucky to have and when we focus on what we have in our lives that we are fortunate to have we not only feel more grateful, but we attract more good things to our lives.

Let’s go rock that lucky energy,

Amber

Hi Dreamers,

Do you ever have a theme song of what you’re going through in life right now? Through different stages of my life I’ve had songs that have really spoke to what I’m going through at the time. Music has always been the one thing in my life that I feel like can relate to me even when no one else can relate.

A current song I have really felt related to is Miley Cyrus’s new song “Flowers” (If you couldn’t tell already by the title). This song is trending and usually I’m the person who doesn’t like to keep up with what everyone else likes. When I heard this song; however, it felt like it was written at the moment I really needed to hear it. Much of my past of had this kind of anxious, attachment love style when it comes to relationships. As a kid it would be friendships. I would try to hold on to a certain friend and then they would end up ditching me, and then as I got older this similar pattern happened in my romantic relationships.

Dating has been challenging for me, because sometimes I get so attached to a person that it feels like my world crushes when they are gone. Recently I had a similar situation happen in my life. My extinct is to go back to the old way of thinking “my life is over” mentality. But as I have been reminding myself recently is that my life isn’t defined by someone else. My life is defined by me, and how I choose to live it. My life is so much more than finding the perfect someone. I have a great life and my life is great with or without a significant other in the picture.

Lately when I feel myself slipping into the old, attachment style that I’m trying to break free of I sing the lyrics to the song “I can buy my own flowers, I can hold my own hand, I can talk to myself for hours.” I remind myself with those lyrics that no one can give me happiness. It is something that I give myself. Happiness that you put in the hands of others can be taken away, but the happiness you give yourself is eternal.

I know that one day that I will find my special someone who loves me like I deserve to be loved, but even the day when I find them I never want to leave my happiness to them. They can add to my life, but I will never let a guy be the reason I can be happy again. I’m finding happiness through dating myself and I couldn’t be more happier/ prouder of me gradually overcoming this attachment style I’ve lived with for so long. I’m finally breaking free and it feels so good!

Later Dreamers,

Amber

Hi Dreamers,

As next month is February, and Valentines Day is approaching us I thought this topic would be appropriate. The other day I was thinking about wanting a relationship and finding that special someone. I love the idea of love and getting to spend the rest of your life with someone. I sometimes hate to admit it, but I am a hopeless romantic at my core.

A few weeks ago I turned 28 and it can sometimes feel discouraging when everyone else around you is getting married or having kids and you are just by yourself all sad eating a tv dinner. I was pondering this idea a few days ago and I thought of something I’d never really thought about before and that was “am I in love with my life?” and if I’m not how can I expect anyone else to be in love with me?

This concept hit me like a ton of bricks. I try to always live my life with gratitude; however, sometimes I just don’t enjoy my day to day life. It’s not that my life is horrible, but I’m just not in love with how I do the same things about every day and it feels like Groundhog Day on constant repeat. Work, work, work, and more work. Don’t get me wrong I love to work, but I’ve realized that sometimes I work so much that I don’t live my life. It’s literally like sometimes I’m working my life away.

I don’t know about other people, but I’m not in love with a life that I just constantly have to work and not getting any time to do the things that make me feel alive and make me in love with my life. Now as I come to realize this in my life I want to try better to live a life that I’m in love with instead of a life that is just getting by. I want to create a life where I’m happy to get up in the morning and I’m in love with all the various aspects of my life. I want to do this to of course attract the right person into my life, but more than anything I realize now that I want to make myself, fall in love with me. Because if I can love me and my life then that will be a life worth lived.

Thank you for listening,

Amber

Hey Dreamers,

Before the beginning of this year started I was listening to a podcast and the podcast host was saying she always comes up for a word for her year. A word that would represent what you wanted the new year to be about. When I heard about this concept I completely fell in love with the idea and I decided that I also wanted to come up with a word that would represent 2023 to me.

This sounds like a simple challenge to come up with a word, but for someone like me who has trouble deciding the meal they will pick at a restaurant this was a real challenge to settle on a word that I could commit to. A word once I picked there was no going back. That would be the word that I would strive to live by this year. NO PRESSURE.

As I tried to come up with a word to commit to, ironically, at my job we had a morning meeting and this same topic came up. They wanted us all to pick a word of the year. Now it wasn’t just pressure to pick a word to represent my year, but now it was also for me now to come up with a word that was unique to me. I wanted a word that wasn’t the same as anyone else. One by one I watched people come up with their words with ease and I was still there trying to come up with something.

I kept thinking of something of something like working harder, but then it really occurred to me that I already work extremely hard. I’m one of the hardest workers I know. I work sometimes to the point where sometimes I forget I actually have a life outside of work. As I pondered about this the word “balance” came to mind.

Balance has always been something I have always struggled with. I’m the type of person who tends to find one thing that I consume my time with and all the other elements of my life I tend to put on the back burner. I realized that lately I work so hard that I don’t take time and smell the roses. I don’t take the time to really be in the present moment and enjoy my life like I should.

That’s when I came to the agreement with myself that my word of the year would be balance. Making sure I live my life more balanced and intentional. That I make time for fun, work, family, friends, dating, my goals, my hobbies, health/wellness, etc., etc. My goal of this year is to try to balance everything in my life to the best of my ability that way I can live my life as fully as possible.

I have made up in my mind that I am fully committed to this and am going on all. A new way I have been adding more balance to my life is keeping up with what I have in my planner everyday and sticking to everything I wrote down. In the past I have been bad with planners, but now I know that it’s aligned with helping me accomplish my word so I am using it everyday and fulfilling what I told myself I would do that day. A way I’m keeping track of that balance I want to achieve is by color coordinating each category. By seeing a variety of colors in my planner I know then that I have achieved balance in the areas of my life that I wanted.

Dreamers, I encourage you as well to find a word that you would like to live by this year. Think about what you really want in your life and pick a word that helps represent that for you. If you all would like to comment your words down below I would love to hear them.

Much love as always,

Your Girl Amber

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

As my birthday is right around the corner it makes me reflect on this past year and honestly just my life journey in general. Each year I’ve noticed as I get older that there’s parts of my life that I didn’t understand at the time why I was going through, but now I can look back and see what it taught me. It’s like each lesson was a part of a huge puzzle. The puzzle being me, and the pieces representing parts of me coming together from these lessons.

I think sometimes when we go through obstacles we can’t understand why we are going through it. As I’m now 27 (going on 28 soon) I can look back now on many things that happened in my life and be glad that it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to or that the hard things I went through were there to teach me a lesson. No matter the good or the bad all of these aspects would help me become a step closer to the person I want to be.

It’s really thrilling to me that each day I’m growing and taking something with me to help me be the best version of myself I can be. I am incredibly proud of how far I’ve come in my life. I know I’ve come a very long way, and there’s a fire in me telling me that I am getting so close to that vision I can see for myself. The pieces that were not making sense to me for a long time are all now coming together and starting to make sense. I feel like I’m finally starting to see the big picture, and the picture is so dang beautiful.

Dreamers, maybe you’re going through things right now you don’t understand or maybe you’re like me and the pieces are finally making sense; either way I want you know you will figure it out. You may not have all the answers right now, but the more you live the more these answers are going to get shown to you. Like a puzzle you may try to fit the pieces where they don’t belong and have many trials and errors, but when you persevere through it you’ll understand that it all was to create a much bigger, more beautiful picture than you had imagined.

Keep your head towards the sky Dreamers,

Love Amber

Hey Dreamers,

No matter who you are we all receive critics or what the cool kids call — the haters. I don’t think anyone still says haters, but I’m just going to run with it anyway haha. Back to the point of today’s post is that at some level we all receive some form of criticism by others. It truly doesn’t matter how perfect or beautiful you are on the inside or the outside you will always get someone somewhere that will say something negative about you. Just by you simply existing you are going to get judged– whether you know it or not.

Now you may be thinking “Amber why are you telling me people are going to not like me?” The reason I am telling you this is not so you can feel horrible about yourself, but because many of us worry everyday what other people think about us. My point is if it’s true that not everyone will like us no matter what we do then why do we still try to impress these people? We know deep down not everyone will like us or accept us yet it doesn’t stop us most times from trying to create this perfect version of ourselves hoping to get everyone to like you.

Yes, people pleasers, I am talking about you here. I am also calling myself out here as well. I’ve spent so much of my life trying to be what others wanted me to be that I wasn’t who I wanted to be. Over the years this people pleaser mentality has gotten way easier to manage. The more I get older the less I care about trying to impress others because I learned that even if I were to fit this “standard” I would even then receive hate. When I realized that I would not be liked no matter what it helped awaken me to the idea that I might as well live my life the way I want to live it. There’s a famous quote that says “I rather be hated for who I am then loved for what I’m not” and that is the exact concept I live my life by now. I live my life for myself and my dreams now, not anyone else. Because at the end of the day the real people will love you for who you truly are.

Now, people pleasers, I want you to think about how many times you have given up something you wanted to do or changed yourself for someone else. Probably too many times to count I would guess. You let other people’s opinions define what you could do and who you could be. You want to make others happy and in return you give up on yourself.

I’m here to tell you all though that no matter what people have said you should or shouldn’t do or who you can or cannot be– DOES NOT MATTER. In case those who are in the back can’t hear me THEIR OPINION OF YOU DOESN’T FREAKING MATTER. You were put on this Earth to be you — not your parents, not your family, not what your significant other wants you to be, not what the popular girl at school says, not the people on social media trying to write you hate comments says, etc. The only person’s opinion that matters is YOURS. Their words only hold value if you give it value.

If you want to go be an astronaut — go freaking be an astronaut. If you want to go become a famous singer — go do that. If you want to own a cat cafe — go build it. If you want to be an Uber driver — do that. The point is do what you want to do. Maybe your parents want you to be a doctor or lawyer and you know that’s not for you. Follow what’s true for you. At the end of the day it’s your life and do you really want to spend the rest of YOUR life trying to live for someone else. You can do that if that’s your choice, but you also run that risk to never be truly happy because you are not doing what is aligned with who you are.

I don’t know about you dreamers, but I don’t want to live the rest of my life needing permission from someone else. Don’t let those critics (haterz) discourage you. Don’t let them tell them you are not good enough to live your truth or that your truth is a waste of time. You are good enough and it’s not a waste of time because you were given that dream for a reason. Like Selena Gomez says in her one song ‘who says you’re not perfect, who says you’re not worth it,’ for real because whoever says that to you is wrong. They are wrong, dreamers.

Have a great rest of your day,

Amber

Hey Dreamers,

Growing up my mom would always play movies about superheroes. There was usually some person who was in distress, but then some hero would come save them from this evil villain. There was one factor that I didn’t like when I watched these movies and that was that those people couldn’t help themselves. Especially as a woman it felt discouraging to me that most of these people were woman who had to always be saved by men.

As I get older I see how these movies are like life in general. No, there might not be some random person called the Joker going around calling chaos, but there is always a circumstance in your life that happens where you look to a ‘hero’. When we are growing up our hero may be our parents or our teachers. When we are sick the heroes are doctors. When we are stuck at the side of the road the hero is a police officer or a friendly car that decides to offer their assistance. There are heroes in our lives and what’s really neat to think about is that you can be a hero too. You don’t have to wear a cape or have some sort of title. You can be a hero no matter your status.

It took me a while in my own life to realize that I could be a hero. Like some of those woman that I disliked playing victim in those superhero movies — I too would play victim but with my own life. It was something I didn’t even entirely realize that I did for a long time. When something horrible happened in my life I would complain and want people to feel sorry for me. I learned this behavior from my childhood, and this mentality that I learned would effect me until I was around twenty-four. It was around that age that something just really clicked inside of me, and I realized I didn’t want to be a victim in my own story anymore. I realized I could either keep playing the victim for the rest of my life or choose to rise above it all and be the hero. I made a choice after that to be a hero and I haven’t looked back since.

Since I’ve made that decision I’ve had a lot of crap happen to me, but instead of falling victim to my circumstances like I used to I decided that what I was going through was going to make me stronger. I would tell myself that I could get through something instead of telling myself that I couldn’t. I changed the internal self talk. When I go through something now I tell myself that “I may not know how I’m going to get through it but I will.” When the me from a decade ago would have told herself “there is no way” and spend all my time worrying. But now I know I’m a hero and I will make it through whatever life is going to throw at me. This doesn’t mean I’m always perfect and don’t sometimes have negative self talk, but the difference is I don’t stay trapped in it like I used to.

I don’t know what you all are going through right now, but I want you all to know that you can also be the hero of your story. What you are going through right now may be the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through before, but that hero that lives inside of you is stronger than any battle. I don’t care how old you are, what you look like, or who you were in your past — you can decide right now that you are a hero and go on your heroic journey. You just have to make that one decision and everything else you need is inside of you.

Now let’s go kick some butt– until next time,

Super Amber

Hey Dreamers,

In today’s post I wanted to talk about something that really hits home for me through my amazing procrastination skills and that is actually putting my goals into action. I’m one of those people who can dream about what they want forever. I can see what I want and even internally know the steps I need to do to get there; however, I miss the key component and that is to actually put what I know into action.

I don’t know about all of you but sometimes I’ll just sit back and think why I’m not further along in a certain goal. I’ll look at my calendar and realize a year has almost passed and then look at my progress and feel disappointed. I’ve listened to every motivational podcast, read every self- help book, and yet it seemed like I barely made any progress on my goals I wanted to accomplish. All because I didn’t do the action.

This might sound obvious “Like of course you have to put it into action” but I know I’m not the only one who becomes a deer in headlights when it’s time to actually start putting the action into the goals. Maybe it’s the classic “I don’t feel like it today” or “I don’t have the right equipment to do this” or “I need to have perfected this better” or “I need the motivation to start” etc., etc., etc. The problem with all of this isn’t that they are not valid points. The problem is all of them are excuses that delay you from ever starting. The truth is you are never going to feel 100% ready or prepared. The hard fact is you may suck at what you’re doing at first, but at least you are doing something. You just putting into action what you want to do gets the motors running. You can always get better at something; however, you can never get back that missed opportunity you could have taken.

If any of this sounds familiar to you I want to encourage you to do that thing. That goal you have been putting off because of some excuse. Only you know what that thing is. I just want you to remember you were given that dream for a reason. You were given it because you are the person who can accomplish it. You are the one who can make it a reality. All you have to do is put action towards it. Put in the work and the dreams you desire will not be that far away.

Much love like always,

Amber