A Lesson from 2021

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

Happy New Year everyone! At the end of a year I always try to take a chance to reflect on a lesson I’ve learned that year. For me, personally, 2021 was filled with a bunch of lessons. If I had to pick one lesson that really resonated with me this year is to stop settling for less.

I think most of us can relate when I say that sometimes you settle for less than you deserve. This past year I’ve had to take a hard look at the kind of toxic things I was letting in my life and why I was allowing it. In particular I was allowing toxic people into my life and letting them treat me in a way I didn’t deserve. This has been a continuous cycle in my life. I’ve let in many people who have come into my life and let their opinions about myself define who I was. I then dug in deep and asked myself why I kept allowing these negative people in my life that would bring me down. I then came to the conclusion I was doing this because I couldn’t see my own sense of worth.

I wasn’t confident in who I was so I sought out validation from others to help prove I was worthy, but as you can guess that didn’t work. I was allowing people in my life to hurt me over and over again just so I could have just some sense of validation that I was enough. I knew in my mind that others opinions shouldn’t matter and that I should feel complete on my own. Knowing this and actually applying it to my life was easier said than done.

It wasn’t until this year that I really put what I knew in my mind and applied it to my life. This is going to sound really lame but what helped me really put this lesson into motion was watching Gilmore Girls. Yes, you heard me right. I started putting this into practice while watching Gilmore Girls. You may be asking yourself right now “How on Earth?” Let me explain. If you haven’t watched Gilmore Girls before it centers around a mother/ daughter relationship. The daughters name is Rory and I adored this character. I loved that her character was strong-willed, smart, and beautiful inside/ out. I found her determination inspiring, and I felt like I could really relate to her character.

Then as the series goes on we see Rory start to downfall. You see this downfall mainly when Rory starts dating and making poor decisions. I then see this character I cherished so much not reach her true potential because of some man or because of the bad decisions she was making. I then thought about my own life and how my life was incredibly similar. I realized I was mad at Rory’s downfall as a person, because I had done the same downfall in my own life. I gave up things that made me special and my own values for toxic relationships with people or because I went down a dark path.

Something in me just snapped when I came to this realization. Why did I want to give up what made me special for some stupid reason? I realized I didn’t want to sacrifice myself anymore and that I wanted to live my life to my full potential. I didn’t want to be like Rory and stay in that downfall anymore I wanted to go back to my roots of what made me, me. And that I wanted to see my value on my own instead of seeking it somewhere else.

This is when I realized I needed to cut things out of my life if it didn’t serve me value. During 2021 I cut out some relationships and old bad habits out of my life. When I did I started valuing myself in a whole new way. Now as I go on into 2022 I’m going to continue valuing myself and only bring in people and experiences that bring me value and also see my value. I hope that you too, dreamers, will also see the value in your beautiful self and not settle for anything less than you deserve!

Much love and happy new year,

Amber

Anything is Possible

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

The other day I was out with a friend and I was telling her how when I was younger I’d tell myself one day I was going to take myself to Disney when I got older all by myself. Some might say this was a common dream to many kids; however, for me it had a different kind of meaning. With my living conditions as a child I knew that my family would never be able to take me. I then set the intention as a young child that I was going to take myself and guess what I did. Who knew that years later I would not only be able to take myself there, but now I work for the company.

The reason I am telling you this story is because I know firsthand that anything is possible. I have seen this countless times in my own life. If I set an intention to do something in my life and made my mind up that I would do it, then by golly I would do it. A few years ago before I got a job at Disney and lost 60 lbs of my weight I made a vision board that had those goals on there. That vision board was a daily reminder of what I wanted to accomplish. It helped me keep focus on what was important to me. If you have never made a vision board before I highly recommend it.

It’s incredible to look back now at 26 and see how all those things I put on my dream board in my earlier twenties came true. It sounds extremely cliche and overused to say that quote “anything is possible if you believe”, but I’m here to tell you that quote again. Anything in your life that you want can come true if you just believe and go after it.

I know from my own life experience that if I believe it in my heart that I can do something, and I put in the work I will achieve whatever I want. There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind. I think many people just don’t believe they have what it takes or think their dreams are too ambitious. If that is you please listen to me when I say all you need to accomplish your dreams already lives inside of you.

I’m here shouting at you right now that if you have a dream in your heart — go for it. You may have obstacles to overcome and people trying to say your dream isn’t possible. Go for it anyway. We all get this one life here on Earth and if we don’t seize the moment and go after the things we want then one day we will look back and wish that we did. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be that person. When I look back on my life I want to say I lived. I don’t want to look back on my life and see all the opportunities I had go by.

Take a leap dreamers, you got this. I believe in you!

Best Wishes,

Amber

You Never Know What Someone Else is Going Through

Hello Beautiful Dreamers,

I’m sorry it has been a hot minute since my last post. It’s sometimes a struggle to come on here and write all the time when I work two jobs and have other stuff going on, but I really want to make it a goal to come on here and write more because writing is where I feel like the best version of myself. I want to be able to continue to share that version of myself while hopefully helping those who read what I write in the process. Anyways, enough with all of that…let’s get on to the topic I want to talk about today and that topic is we don’t know what someone else is going through.

I was reminded that this lesson is important because of an event that happened to me the other day. The other day I picked up at a different work location which meant I worked with several people I didn’t know. For some reason while I worked there a lady kept pointing out all I was doing wrong in her eyes without really giving me a chance to explain what was actually going on. I will be honest I didn’t really care for her. She was being rude to me for no apparent reason, and I just didn’t get a good impression from her.

Later on while she was on break I noticed that she was crying. I then started to feel bad that I had judged her on that she was being kind of rude to me that I forgot in that moment that there is usually more to a person then what they present. That maybe she had been mean because she was actually hurting inside. She then comes up to me later and tells me that she is diabetic and was struggling. The lady ended up feeling better and we got along after that point. I was also reminded of that important lesson that we don’t know what others are truly going through each day.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

I can honestly say that this applies in my own life strongly. Some of the hardest battles I’ve faced I haven’t shown to the world and haven’t spoken to many about. When I’ve dealt with all these struggles like the one lady I thought was rude I also too sometimes acted out with anger because of what I was going through. Just because someone acts a certain way doesn’t mean it defines their character as a whole. We don’t know what that person has gone through in their life. This is why it’s important to be kind to even the people who are not so nice to you, because often enough it’s because they are hurting from the pain you are going through in their life.

No, that doesn’t give people the excuse to run all over you; however, I think it can give us all empathy for others and not be so quick to judge. After all, those people who are hurting are probably the ones who need the niceness someone else can offer them. Funny enough when I showed I cared to that lady who was mean to me she started acting very nice towards me and I think it was because she needed a person to hear her at and know that someone was there if she needed.

I’m writing this to remind myself and others that we never know what another person is walking through in their life and that’s why we need to keep spreading love/ kindness. To all of you reading this I want to challenge you all to be nice to those who are not as pleasant for you to deal with and do something nice for someone. This will not only make others feel great, but it will also help you feel great in the process as well. Let’s all go out and create a more beautiful world to live in! Well, that’s all I got for today until next time…

Talk to you later dreamers,

Amber

Recharging Your Battery

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

Today I did something I haven’t done in a while and that is I went outside and meditated. There is something about being out in natural and meditating brings me such peace- this being said I do not find myself doing it as often as I should. I believe the reason this is is because sometimes I get so caught up in everything else that is going on in my life that I forget that I need to take care of myself. Today has been a reminder to me that I need to make self care a much bigger priority in my life.

I wanted to come on here today and share this because I feel like at least one of you out there reading this now is dealing with that same exact thing. You may be busy working, at school, taking care of others, etc. that you are not taking care of yourself. The factor that I have to keep reminding myself is that if I don’t take care of myself then I can’t take care of everything else in my life as well.

We are all like batteries that need to be recharged in order to function properly. We recharge our phones every single day knowing that they need it yet we can’t do the same thing for ourselves each day. Today’s blog post is a reminder to you and myself to go charge your own battery. Make at least a little time out of your day to do something out of self love that helps you feel recharged. Read that book, take that walk, feed yourself good food, journal, meditate, etc. Do what makes you feel good and at peace.

Much love to you all dreamers,

Amber

When Life Knocks You Down

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

I want to write this blog today to share how I’ve been feeling and maybe it will also help one of you reading this to not feel so alone. Lately I’ve felt paralyzed. I feel like I’m under water and I see the way up but I don’t feel like I have enough strength to make it back to the top. Over these last few months I’ve gone through many different trials and it seems like whenever I get through one trial there’s another one waiting for me at the top. There’s been so much happening in such a short amount of time that it has just left me with this feeling of hopelessness.

selective focus of a boxer s fist
Photo by Ashutosh Sonwani on Pexels.com

If there’s one feeling I don’t let myself want to feel it is hopelessness. I am a fighter. I always have been. I am the person that will keep going into the ring even after getting hit multiple times. As a kid I would semi cringe when I saw the Rocky movies and view the fight scenes. I would just see Rocky get hit over and over again by the other opponent and as a kid I just wanted to yell at him through the television to just not give up. Just like magic though Rocky comes up with this unstoppable strength out of no where and defeats his opponent.

Right now in my life I am having that Rocky moment. I am having a bunch of hits come at me, but I have to decide whether or not I am going to throw in the towel or I am going to keep fighting. As tempting as it has been lately to just want to give up trying that’s just not who I am as a person. This has been an extremely difficult season in my life, but I know that what I’m going through now God is going to use to make me so much more stronger. In the times of my life when I just don’t think I can go on anymore God reminds me that, like Rocky, I have the strength inside of me that is going to get me through any battle that will come my way.

To you reading this…I’m not sure what you are going through right now in your life. You may be feeling like me right now and you are just not sure how you are going to get through this season of your life, but I am here to tell you that you can and you will. I promise you that you have the strength inside of you right now to get through those hardships. It’s normal to feel down and scared sometimes in your life, but don’t let those feelings stop you. You are a fighter and will overcome whatever this life has to throw at you. We all have our own obstacles we are going through right now, but we will get through this difficult season together. If you feel like you have no one in your life cheering you on to make it through your hardships know that I am the person outside the ring telling you that you can do it. We are going to get through these hardships no matter what.

Until next time thank you for reading dreamers,

Amber

The Person Standing in Your Way

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

photography of person walking on road
Photo by Leo Cardelli on Pexels.com

Yesterday a thought entered my mind that I want to talk to you all about today, and that thought is about what is standing in your way from living your dreams. For many years of my life I always felt like there was something that was stopping me from living the life I wanted to live. I could make up any excuse you could think of. I would come up with excuses such as it’s not the right time, I’ll do it tomorrow, I don’t have the right equipment to start, I’m depressed, my past, other people etc. I could keep going on all day if I wanted to. I was literally the excuse queen.

It wasn’t until I took a step back and looked at my life that I realized it wasn’t any of these things I came up with that were standing in my way. It wasn’t an excuse, but instead a person that was standing in my way. You can imagine the shock when I realized that person was me. The day that my mind connected with that concept it changed me. When I finally came to this conclusion I realized that I had spent a good majority of my life blaming everything else under the sun except the person to actually blame — me.

I awakened to the idea that I spent an incredible amount of time/ energy trying to come up with excuses to not make my life better that with that same energy I could have instead used towards bettering my life. I think many of us are like this in a way. We stand in our own way of what we want without realizing it. We let what we tell ourselves to get in our own way.

What I have learned is that the people that succeed in this life are the people who stop getting in their own way and just go do what they want. They still deal with the same aspects that we all do such as: fear, not feeling like enough, hardships, and just not feeling the motivation; however, they make themselves do it anyway. That is the key. You need to move past all the excuses that your mind is coming up with and just go for it.

If you are struggling with this problem right now I want you to know that you are worth that incredible life that you desire. You are worth more than you could ever know. You just need to do yourself a favor and let go of all the things that you keep telling yourself that are keeping you trapped in this vicious cycle. You deserve your dream life, and you have in you right now what you need to accomplish it. Those dreams that live inside of you were given to you for a reason, and it is now your responsibility to move past yourself to make it a reality.

Thanks for reading dreamers until next time,

Amber

Imperfectly Perfect

Hey Beautiful Dreamers, 

img_8212
When I was 180 lbs

Today I want to talk about a topic that’s been an ongoing learning process for me, and that is embracing my imperfections. Like many woman in particular I have struggled feeling confident about my weight and how I presented myself to the world. For those of you who don’t know I had a drastic weight loss of 60 lbs. After years of battling either being where I was obese, or at some points stick thin I was finally able to find balance.

It wasn’t until really these last 2 years that I’ve felt like I’ve been at a healthy weight for me. I had lost all of this weight yet I still carried all the weight of the damage done to my self esteem over the years. I did not look the same, but inside I still felt like the little girl who was getting made fun of at school. People cannot understand how this kind of battle can effect someone mentally unless they have been through it. You go from one day being called fat/ ugly by a guy you had a crush on to a guy actually looking at you because he thinks you’re cute (not that you have something on your face- although let’s be honest that probably still happens – haha). In a way this made me feel good, because I felt like I was finally being noticed. On the other hand, what it also did was re- enforce my belief that people only cared about what I looked like which caused more damage.

I used to be under the impression that somehow when I got my body to a great size that I would become happy, but I very wrong. Now don’t get me wrong I am extremely happy that I lost the weight and I am very much so a happier person than I was before; however, losing the weight did not magically make all of my insecurities go away. I just found new ones to replace them. Like my lose skin, or the fact that I have cellulite, my hair, or how my nose is shaped. No matter what I would find something. I was always going to find something about me that I didn’t like and that I deemed ‘imperfect.’

One day I had a friend complaining about her weight and saying she would have better luck with guys if she were skinny. She kept going on telling me that she would be happy if she could lose the weight like me. I told her something that day I wish someone had told me long ago and that was “You need to be happy with who you are right now, because who you are right now is good enough. If you really do want to lose weight do it for yourself and not for others approval.”

Isn’t it odd how we can give others great advice, but we can’t tell ourselves the same exact thing? I told her that advice, because I could see the beauty that was within her even with her weight. I could not see that same beauty within myself though. I kept trying to ‘fix’ myself by staying a certain weight, caking myself with a bunch of makeup, and getting blonde highlights that blinded you.

I kept changing myself to find validation through others so even if it was for just a moment I could feel beautiful. It became an unhealthy addiction to where I needed to look ‘perfect’. It got so bad that if no one complimented me I felt like it was because I looked ugly and that I needed to look for a new way to improve. One day a guy approached me telling me I looked exactly like a Barbie doll (the image I always wanted to look like), and hearing those words didn’t make me feel like I thought I would feel. I still felt like I wasn’t enough. That day started to change me in a way. I started to realize that I was never going to live up to my impossible standards.

Since that day I have been trying to make an effort to embrace more of my imperfections. Our ‘so – called’ imperfections are what makes us stand out and unique. If we all erased our imperfections we wouldn’t be us. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at another human being and admired something unique about their features that they could be insecure about. I think many of us are that same way. We can find beauty in others imperfections, but we think that ours make us not enough somehow. We need to stop viewing ourselves with such criticism and view ourselves like a fabulous piece of artwork.

I was talking with a very dear friend of mine today, and she was saying how we had to learn to love ourselves from that outside perspective. That we had to learn to love that little kid that lives within us all. The kid in us just wants to be told that they are enough just as they are. That kid that lives within needs to hear that they don’t have to be what society tells them to be. The kid needs to know that they don’t have to look or act a certain way – that just being who they are is enough and if someone cannot appreciate that then they lost someone incredibly valuable.

Dreamers, I want you to ask yourselves what you tell your inner child. Are you mean to yourself or do you speak to yourself out of love? If you talk to yourself in the first way I want to challenge you (like I’m starting to challenge myself) to talk to yourself in a loving friend way. Tell yourself how valuable you are and how what others may have put you down for is truly what makes you beautiful. Don’t listen to the negative opinions of others. You get to be in charge of how you define your own self. We will never reach ‘perfect’, but we can always be imperfectly perfect in our own special way!

Thank you for reading dreamers,

Amber

 

Better Then Yesterday

img_8120Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

Today I was in my car and the song “So Yesterday” by Hilary Duff came on. I started singing on the top of my lungs. I don’t know about you, but I love when a song randomly comes on that I listened to as a kid. It’s almost like you are being time traveled back to that time in your life.

As the song continued to play I realized how it related to me differently as an adult. If you don’t know what the song is about it’s about a girl basically saying that she’s moving on from a guy, and that he’s ‘so yesterday.’ As a kid I used to sing it about my crush in school who didn’t pay any attention to me, but now as an adult I can relate it to guys that I’ve been in relationships with. When I thought about it deeper though I realized that the ‘so yesterday’ concept can be used about anything from my past.

The person who I was a decade ago, 2 years ago, 3 months ago, or even yesterday isn’t the same person I am today. If you knew who I was a few years ago you probably would be shocked about how much I’ve grown. I’m always finding new ways to self improve. It’s weird even today I learned more on how I can self improve in a way I had not expected. I’ve noticed lately I’ve been really hard on myself when it comes to my body image. I have certain goals that I want to reach and lately I’ve been talking to myself in a negative way when it comes to it. I’ve been going to the gym and eating healthier (which is great), but I also noticed I was putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect. The times when I didn’t eat the way I should or have the best workout ever I felt like a screw up. I kept telling myself that I will not look the way I want to if I keep messing up.

It then hit me today that, yes, I’m in no way being ‘perfect’, but I am doing healthier habits then what I was doing before. I realized if I can just do a little bit better each day then that is good enough. I always want to strive to improve, but also beating myself up because I’m not going a fast enough speed isn’t what I want to do either. I want to be able to make progress while still being able to be nice and loving towards myself.

I came to the realization that I needed to get out of this idea that I need to be this ‘perfect’ person’. No one is ever going to be that. The lesson I learned today is that what I needed to change more then me eating better or working out more is the way I talk to myself. The person who I was, putting myself down is now I’m deciding is becoming my ‘so yesterday’. The rest of today, and tomorrow I am going to strive to be a less judgmental towards myself.

I want to ask all of you reading this to figure out what your ‘so yesterday’ is. What can you learn to let go of from your ‘yesterday’ that can help you move on to help the future you? Each day I want to work towards an improved version of myself even if it’s not in the way I had expected. As long as we all keep growing a little everyday we are so much better than yesterday!

Thank you for reading dreamers,

Amber

What I’ve Learned About Motivation

 

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

Have you ever struggled with finding motivation to do something? Do you keep putting things you want to accomplish off? If so this post is for you!

I know for myself, personally, I have struggled with this throughout my life. I’d have all these goals that I wanted to accomplish, but I kept putting them all off until I felt ‘ready.’ Then tomorrow would come, next week, next month, until years passed by and nothing had happened. That ‘ready’ moment never came and I didn’t understand why. Here is what I have learned about finding that motivation.

You Are Never Going to Find Motivation

exercise female fitness foot

In my free time I like to watch inspiring YouTube videos. A few years ago while watching these kind of videos on YouTube I stumbled upon a Mel Robbins video. Mel said in that video an idea that I had never heard before, and that is ‘motivation is garbage.’ She had said something that was so simple, yet it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized in that moment that I was never going to feel motivated to do something. It hit me that if I wanted something I had to stop making excuses and make myself do it.

Before that moment I had lived in this fantasy land that one day I was suddenly going to feel inspired to do something I wanted to do, but then years passed and nothing happened. I think many of us fall into that trap. We get into that rut of “I’ll do that tomorrow.” It’s not until you throw the excuses away and just do it that you are going to get anywhere. An example of this from my own life is my fitness journey. Throughout my life I’ve struggled with my weight either being too thin or overweight. It hasn’t been since these last few years that I’ve been able to get in more control of my weight. I struggled for the longest time living an active lifestyle; however, when I started pushing myself to start working out I was able to see progress I had never seen before in my life.

Now I go to gym regularly and working out has become a huge part of my life. Living an active lifestyle has become who I am, but I would have never gotten to that point if I had not pushed myself to do so first. There are still days I don’t feel like going to the gym, but I push myself to go do it anyway, because I know it will benefit me. I didn’t feel like going yesterday to be honest, but I made myself do it. I ended up having a great workout. I kept thinking to myself while at the gym that I could have missed out on a great workout if I had not pushed myself to go.

If you are reading this and struggle, like me, to find that ‘motivation’ I dare you to push yourself to do something you have been putting off to do. Yes, it’s hard to push yourself, but pushing yourself to do it is the hardest part. Once you push yourself and you do it I want you to see how it feels to accomplish it. I can almost guarantee that you are going to feel better about yourself. Also, once you do it you are going to start to realize you are in control of what you do in your life. That motivation isn’t what is going to drive you to do something. What you need to accomplish any goal you have already lives inside you. You got the power to do anything you want to do in this life.

Finding Your Why

img_2365Even though motivation is trash like Mel said I also think that it’s important to find your “why” for whatever you do. The “why” in your life is going to keep you going after you give yourself the push to do it. For example, I didn’t feel like writing this blog post at first. I then reminded myself  of why I want to write this blog. I reminded myself that I want to help people and by making myself write a post it could help at least one of you reading this right now. That made me want to do it.

If you look at any successful person in the world they all have a “why.” Inspirational people like Oprah, Steve Jobs, Gandhi, etc. all had a reason to why they were doing what they did. Even fictional characters like Superman have a “why”. If Superman didn’t have that drive to help others then he wouldn’t be going out to battle the bad guys. All of us need a reason to do something. Come up with your reason — maybe it’s to inspire others, maybe it’s for your kids, maybe you want to do it for yourself, your health, or your career. Whatever that reason is remember that when you go out to accomplish your goals.

Alright so that is all I have for today everyone. I hope you all have the most beautifully, wonderful day.

Thank you for reading dreamers,

Amber

 

Life Lessons I’ve Learned from Gaming

 

img_5620-1Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

Ever since I was a kid I loved to play video games. When I played a video game it felt like I was immersed inside of a movie or book, but unlike with a movie or a book I controlled more of what happened in the story. Video games quickly became an obsession for me. The obsession got so bad that I sometimes would even have dreams about playing the games. I in particular enjoyed playing games that featured a short, plump man named Mario.

Even though I loved video games, there was one aspect that I hated about them. The dreaded one thing I hated was when you would suddenly die on a high level with no lives left. That meant I had to start all the way from the beginning, and that I had to work hard to get to that point again. I would have to endure all the blood, sweat, and tears all over again (okay I’m exaggerating about the blood, but you get the point).

I still til this day hate dying in games and having to start over; however, I also see it now in a new light. I can look back over all of those ‘failures’ and see lessons that also apply to my actual life. One life lesson video games taught me was that if I won all the time without any issues there would be no challenge, and without the challenge it wouldn’t be as fun. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t feel near as accomplished after I won a game if it all had all come easy. I believe that this same thing can also be said about life. We go through trials all the time in life. If we didn’t have trials our lives would be very bland and boring. We all also wouldn’t feel as accomplished or successful if we all just had it handed to us. Our joy in life comes from working hard for what we want, and seeing our hard work pay off in the end.

Another lesson I’ve learned from dying all those times is that even though I had lost,  every time I started again was a new opportunity. It was a chance for me to start brand new. I think this can be said about our lives as well. We sometimes get so caught up in our losses that we don’t realize that these losses helped make us stronger. Every new day we live is an opportunity to take these ‘losses’ and apply them to make our lives even better.

If I didn’t fail all those times while gaming I wouldn’t have figured out the best way in order to win. It took those losses to learn what ‘not to do’ so eventually I could find what I ‘should do.’ We are going to mess up, or we are going to have events in our life that will try to bring us down. The important part of this is to not give up and know that these obstacles are going to get you a step closer to where you want to be in life. We may see these as ‘failures’, but what they really are is stepping stones to where we want to go. That being said I dare all of you reading this to go take those lessons you’ve learned and apply them to this new day/ opportunity!

Catch you later dreamers,

Amber