Get Your Head in the Game

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

As you can tell by the title of this blog post..what up..High School Musical reference. If only I could reference High School Musical all day long. I absolutely would. Besides the point I think those lyrics are a good way to sum out what I’m going to talk about today.

As a ‘cringe’ now 24 year old (Am I really that old?) who dropped out of college to go work for Disney and is now trying to go back to school I absolutely know the definition of trying to get my head back into the game.

Let’s take my life back about 2 years ago. I was at the end of my junior year of college and I realized I was at what felt like a mid-life crisis and I was only 22. I was going through the motions of school, but I didn’t really feel like I belonged. My heart wasn’t in school anymore so then it was like my brain took a vacation. I was working fast food and going crazy. The only joy I got at the time was my boyfriend at the time; so when he decided to leave me I felt so broken.

I was down in the dumps..big time. Then one day something in me snapped enough that I realized I needed a change from the routine of:

9am: Wallow in self pity while eating breakfast

10am: Go to work and wallow in self pity as I do my job

11 am: Eat food that’s bad for me and wallow in self pity as I know it will make me gain more weight

12 pm: Think about why I hate my life and of course don’t forget wallow in self pity

1pm-3pm: Pretty much the same as 12 pm

3pm: Drive to school and as I’m driving think about how much I hate math..and wallow in self pity

4pm: Eat some more bad food from the school cafeteria as wallow in self pity

5pm-10pm- Go to classes and can’t leave out self pity

11pm- Go to sleep watching depressing YouTube videos or movies and wallow more in self pity then I did all day

Okay, okay..that was a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. I was unhappy with my life and then after being so unhappy I decided to make two decisions that would ultimately change my life.

1. Lose Weight


2. Get accepted into the College Program at Disney


I made a vision board and set intentions that I was going to do both things. After putting in the energy to do both things I actually accomplished both of those things. Which I’m extremely proud of so as I say the next things I’m about to say don’t get me wrong. As I accomplished both I thought by now that I somehow would be so much happier by losing the weight and have a job that I would kill for at Disney.

As I was just barely getting by with job and just only found a little joy in my weight loss I found myself in the same place that I had found myself in 2 years ago. Stuck. Stuck in a place that didn’t feel like I belonged yet again. After many heartbreaking things that had happened to me over the past year in 2018 I realized I needed a change again. That yes, I love working for Disney, but I had to be honest with myself that I wasn’t happy with the job I had because it wasn’t something that I was interested in. That I was renting a room off of someone and still struggling to get by. That I had fallen back into depression and I needed to get out. That I wanted more in life to be happy over than my weight loss.

After I lost my dear friend, Doris, who was like a mother figure to me at the beginning of the year it made me realize I wanted to make her so proud. She was one of the greatest people I have ever known and probably ever will know. She helped me through so many painful things in my life and I knew the only way I could repay her for all of that was by using all she taught me and using that to better my life and to help others like she did.


The day after she died I applied to go back to school. Then I applied for a job I’d like better at Disney. A few weeks later I started this blog. This time I was serious. I felt not like it was an option anymore. That I needed and I had to do this for myself and for her. She would tell me when I was a child that I was going to do great things and that I’m going to do. Not because I’m above anyone else, we can all do great things, but because I knew in that moment I wasn’t going to waste my life away anymore. We all have the potential and ability. The difference is whether we actually do something with it.

It also really hit me because I just turned 24 too and even though yes, that’s not really old I saw my life pass me by. I asked myself “Amber is this really how you want to live the rest of your life? Barely getting by. Not doing what you were born and created by God to do.” I would then see so many of my peers doing really cool jobs, graduating college, having kids, and I felt a sort of like there was me not doing anything. Again, not saying I haven’t had accomplishments in my life, but I felt like I could be doing so much better. That being said we shouldn’t spend our time comparing ourselves to others; however, in this case it was a wake up call. It was “Amber you need to get your crap together or your whole life is going to pass you by without you knowing it.”

I do think that myself personally I needed all that time to grow and really think about what I really wanted in life. I needed a break to realize who I am and what I want. For once I feel like I’m on the start of something big. It all hasn’t come all together yet, but piece by piece I’m slowly finding my purpose in this life. I may not be where I want to be yet, but I’m getting there.

The overall message that I want to put out today is it’s okay to not go a straight path to get to your destination. In fact, many of us don’t have a clear straight path. We run into many twists and turns. That all being said: don’t forget where you want to go. Don’t forget your dreams. Most importantly don’t ever give up on yourself. Keep on going even if the path isn’t completely clear yet. You and your dreams are worth fighting for. Now stop reading this,  get your head back into the game, and go out and do great things!

Talk to you later dreamers,


Gorgeous Gratitude

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

Today I wanted to talk a little about happiness. Happiness has been what has felt like a constant battle. Whenever I talked to people about it. It seemed like I’d always go back to my childhood as being the happiest I had ever been. Every time I wanted to be happy again throughout my life I kept trying to think what made me happy back then. When I recall back to that time it always seemed so natural to be happy. One might think I had a fantastic childhood that made me happy. The truth is my childhood was far from perfect but I choose to look at it in a different light. Much of that I feel like I learned from my dad. My dad has very extreme mental issues, but what he had really strong mentally was looking at the bright side of things. I remember we wouldn’t have money for toys, but me and my dad would walk out to the store behind where we lived and play with the toys in the shop.

We would act so silly together. My dad would do a bunch of silly things like pretending to ride a tiny little rocking horse and I would just laugh. As we exited the store he would buy me a very cheap sucker and I would be the happiest little girl who walked the Earth. Not for having material things, but for having fun with the time I spent with my dad. Him making me laugh made me more joyful then the spoiled, rich girls my age who actually got the toy. Here is a picture of my dad now it’s hard to believe he’s in his 70s now:

I noticed recently in my life is the reason I’m not happy is because I think about the things my life lacks and not what I actually have around me. If we all focused on our problems and what sucks about our lives- of course that’s going to make us unhappy. However when we focus on what we do have our lives become so much more happier. That’s why recently I’m really trying to be grateful for the things that I do have around me instead of thinking of all the things that suck and lack in my life.

For those of you who don’t know I work at Disney. Is it a glamorous job at Disney? No. However the other day I kept thinking to myself how lucky I am to work them. I then spent that day walking around Epcot taking in all the beauty that was there. Which caused me to get beautiful pictures of the sun setting over Epcot. It really helped that sink in for me that I work for a company I’ve wanted to work for since I was basically born- haha- let’s be honest. That when I was too poor to go to Disney as a child I set the intention to one day be able to go. Not only have I been able to go once, but I could go to Disney almost every day out of the year if I wanted to now. If you had told me that when I was really young I would have been overjoyed.

The perks from Disney didn’t stop there either. Disney has recently started a program that helps their employees go back to school and I am going back to school because of them. I am so grateful to the company for allowing me so many amazing opportunities and not only that but allowing me to meet so many amazing people through all those opportunities. I have met some of my best friends from working there and for that I’m forever grateful.

Speaking of friends I’m so grateful for all the friends I’ve had throughout my life. Some of these friends are no longer here with me; however, I know they are in a better place, and always in my heart. There are also the friends that are still here with me that have stuck with me through so many things and some of them have literally saved my life. One of them in particular more than once. It’s no lie when I say I’ve dealt heavily with suicide in my past. One friend has been there with me through all of it and for that she has no idea how much she has done for me. Also my other great friends who have been there with me through so many hardships. For every single one of them I am beyond grateful.

All these things are like that view I saw from Epcot. You don’t really notice how beautiful they really are until you start focusing on them. I always knew Epcot was beautiful as I do other things in my life, but keep reminding yourself of the beauty and good in it, it will be overshadowed by the bad. That’s why so many times we all hear the expressions “look on the bright side” or “look at the glass half full not empty”. Both phrases are used so much. That’s because they both have a significant meaning. When you learn to flip the script from negative to positive your whole life starts to turn around. Not because you have better things, but because you notice the good things in your life.

You may think you have no good things in your life, but I beg to differ. Even just getting the opportunity to live another day is a gift. One that many of us take for granted. Now you may fight back and say “Well my life sucks so I’d rather not have another day to live.” With that I want you to think about all the people who have died. Especially babies who have died. Never getting the chance to do many of the things you have the opportunity to do. If your heart is beating here on this Earth then you are here for a reason, and we all should be grateful that we have that opportunity each and every day.

Be grateful for the roof over your head. If you’re reading this be glad you can read. We go through this life being so unhappy with the things that we do not have; yet, we don’t appreciate the things we do have. Something you take for granted someone else is wishing they had. Be grateful for the blessings that you have in your life no matter how small you think they are and you will see your life begin to change.

Well that’s all I got for right now. Talk to you later dreamers,


Date Night at Disney Springs

Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

Today I wanted to talk about something that was mentioned last week, but I’m going to make this whole post about it this week. The topic I wanted to share with you all is “loving yourself”. As simple as that phrase may sound it is not always that easy. For me at least I know that loving myself has been a very up and down (all over the place to be completely honest haha) journey. I used to think loving yourself would just be this epiphany moment where I’d always feel so in love with myself. As I get older and wiser; however, I realize that it’s an ongoing journey.

Some days I feel absolutely great about myself. I think “Wow Amber you look great. We can take some selfies today” or “you really killed it with that workout.” On the other hand I also have days like “who ran you over, a garbage truck?” or “you are really lazy”. Both are me talking to myself. Yet both are in completely different ways.

Now why am I talking about this when in the title it says “Date Night at Disney Springs”? Well because this date wasn’t with anyone but myself. You would find it so fascinating how many people think I’m absolutely strange for going on dates by myself. Many people say they would never do many of the things I have done by myself. I will admit there are times that, yes, I do wish someone was there, but at the same time it’s very nice to just enjoy the moment and by present in each thing going on.

Now why would I call them dates? My response to that would be because I am dating myself. I’m getting to know me better, and I am spending time developing the relationship I have with myself by going out and doing things. I feel like you can truly measure a person’s confidence in themselves by their ability to go alone and do things. It honestly felt good that on Valentine’s Day of all days I went out by myself in a place full of couples doing things together and didn’t let that stop me from doing things I wanted to do.

One of the things that I did while I was at Disney Springs was go watch a movie. I went to go see that new movie with Rebel Wilson who starred in Pitch Perfect. The movie is called Isn’t It Romantic and if you haven’t seen it I would recommend it. I have always been a sucker for romantic comedies anyway, but this movie also had the same message that I’m sharing today. To love yourself. (Side note- It didn’t hurt that Liam Hemsworth was in it either…what a babe..Miley Cyrus is a lucky woman haha)

Besides the point the movie made, made my point of loving myself even stronger. We are all imperfect. We all find things wrong with ourselves whether it’s the way we act or a flaw we see in our physical appearance. None of us are perfect and whether we admit it or not some days we do not feel as great about ourselves as we want to feel. That’s okay though. That doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself. Loving yourself is just even on the days you feel like crap about yourself, that you still decide to love yourself anyway.

Loving yourself is not on just the days you feel like doing it. It’s honestly even more on the days you don’t feel like it. The days you feel so bad and you just want to stay in bad because it’s so bad, but you decide to get up anyway, because you are choosing to love yourself. Loving yourself is a choose we get each and every day. It’s not always an easy choice, but once we make that decision it is very much worth it. Because when we decide to love ourselves our worlds begin to open up. Things start getting so much better in all the areas of our lives once we can make that choice.

Well thank you all so much for reading! I’ll talk to all you dreamers next week,



My Funny Little Valentine


Hey Beautiful Dreamers,

Guess what holiday is right around the corner? It’s everybody’s ‘favorite’ holiday. You guessed it right…Valentines Day.

Ahhh Valentines Day

The day where we all binge watch Titanic as we stuff as many on-sale candies down as possible. Maybe that’s just me? Regardless Valentines Day does not always get the best repetition for itself.

It seems like either people really love it because they are in a relationship with their sweetie or they loathe it because their relationship status on Facebook has remained the same for much longer than they’d like. As I get older I realize how utterly ridiculous this idea of hating Valentines Day is. To the point I think we should all make the hashtag #StopShamingValentinesDay a trend.

As this years Valentine’s Day arises for me I should be all sad, because me and my ex just filed for divorce. Most people would think I would extremely loathe Valentines Day at this point, but honestly for me it’s quite the opposite. I think it’s a beautiful holiday. Let me explain why.

The media makes Valentines Day all about having to be in this fantastic relationship with your soulmate and when we we are not we feel less then. However; Valentines Day is so much more than just being with your ‘perfect’ person. It is about love, and I think that should be way more accounted for. Love is way more than just between two people in a romantic relationship.

Love also manifests in so many other relationships. Such as between you and your family members, you and God, you and your child, you and your friend, you and yourself, and last but certainly not least your pet. There are so many relationships in our lives that include love in that doesn’t involve a romantic relationship. To me Valentines Day should be all about celebrating love in general.

There is so much love in this world that we should also celebrate. I challenge you all this Valentines Day to celebrate all the kinds of different love in your life. Go do something with your friends or family. Go treat yourself to something you deserve. Do something that shows love to others and to yourself.

It’s funny for so many years I put so much focus on wanting to find that ‘perfect’ someone so I am quite proud of myself for reaching this point. I was always so obsessed with the idea of love. I even remember in pre-school I told my parents I was in love with this little boy I had a crush on and got so offended when they laughed at me. That idea of love was beautiful, but at the same time sometimes it’s all I could focus on. All I could think about was finding that special someone.

I can honestly say at this moment in my life I’m so content being on my own and I don’t want to be with anyone right now. I want to focus on me and creating the future I want for myself. Honestly with all the things I want to do right now I don’t really have time for a man. That being said I still truly believe that there is this special guy out there for me, but I’m not going to go out there searching for him anymore. I believe he’ll come into my life at the right time.

I think it’s always been hard for me to see so many of people I know from school who meet their soulmate in high school and are living happily ever after. There’s sometimes this feeling of jealousy that comes over me. However; I then remind myself that God has different plans for me. If my soulmate hasn’t entered my life yet it’s for a reason. I’m supposed to do other great things in my life before I met that person and guess what that’s okay. Because I’ve tried doing things my own way and it ended up in many toxic relationships, a short lived marriage, and a not a nice divorce.

Instead of rushing it like I used to I’m just going to enjoy the ride. I know the guy I’m going to end up with is going to be extremely special and treat me like the queen I deserve to be treated as. So no more settling. I’m going to work my butt off to become the best version of me and improve my life the best I can and as my cousin Lori would tell me “the one will come when you’re not looking.” I believe that is true.

To all of you single people reading this. STOP SETTLING. Also to those in a relationship that you know is toxic. STOP SETTLING. You all deserve all the happiness in the world. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Even if that means you are single longer. Who cares? Oh..wait..only you. Who else cares about how long you are single? Guess what? No one. Except maybe our mom who wants grand kids.

We all put so much energy into wanting to be in a relationship that we settle and that’s just wrong. It’s so much better to wait a while for what you deserve then to be with someone who makes you feel so alone. In my own personal experience I can tell you firsthand that is what happened in my last relationship. I was with someone who didn’t want to be with me like I wanted to be with them. They didn’t love me like I loved them. I spent so much time trying to convince them to love me more. I’d feel so alone.

I realized many things through that experience though. The main thing was that the person who is right for you, you will never have to make them try to love you. They are going to love you no matter what. Along with that what’s meant to be yours will find a way. If someone wants to leave your life let them go. One of two things will happen either one day they’ll come back in your life when the time is right or you will find someone better.

A strong part of me feels ashamed for the woman I was in that relationship. Begging for a guy to stay with her when he didn’t want to stay. I felt pathetic at the time and sometimes I still feel that way when I think back to it. However; I look at how much I’ve learned through it all and how much I’ve grown, and if I had to get that low to reach the high then all it really was, was a learning experience. I just know that I will never, ever put myself in that position again.

The difference is I know my worth now. I am not perfect by any means. However; I do not deserve to be treated horribly and to be with someone who didn’t really care about me. I see things in a whole different perspective then I did a few months ago. For that I’m so thankful to God most of all and to all the people who helped me get through that difficult time.

This Valentines Day I’m going to spend being so thankful for all the love I have in my life. For all the love I’ve ever been giving through out my life. I will let the others around me know how grateful I am for them and fill my own self up with love. And maybe still watch Titanic because it’s a great movie. Haha well that’s all I got for today.

Catch you all later dreamers,



Better Than Yesterday


Hi Beautiful Dreamers,

Recently I realized something really important and that is “the only one you should be better than yesterday.” I’ve heard this quote several times before, but for me it’s actually starting to sink in. The other day I acted in a way that I was not proud of towards a person that caused me a lot of hurt. Many people who knew about the situation thought my behaviour was acceptable. It might have been acceptable, and I could have been way worse. However; at the same time I realized that I was better than that behavior.

I then apologized for my behavior to a person who everyone said didn’t deserve it. The thing about that was, yes, that person treated me horribly and I can’t choose how they treated me, but I could choose how I responded. I then decided I wanted to be a better version of me by owning up to my own actions.

I did apologize and got a hateful message from this person who was trying to bring me down once again, but I felt better. Not because they put me down, but because I saw the strength in my character. I knew I was better than the “get even” mind set and knew I needed to do something to make it right even if that didn’t matter to the other person. It mattered to me that I tried to be a better person.

Im truly not a perfect person. I make mistakes all the time, but I’m really trying to be a better person. I think it’s important for us all to remember that we are never going to be perfect, but we can always strive to be better than we were yesterday. That doesn’t have to be major things either. Even if we do little things to be closer to the person we know we can be…that is winning.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to how everyone else is and think about what’s going to make you the best you. What morals matter to you? What talents do you want to share with the world?

I know even now sometimes I feel like my best (for example my talents) is not as great as someone else. We all have different levels of our abilities and just because we don’t feel our abilities are as great as someone else, that it means they aren’t. We are all made special and unique so we shouldn’t have the same abilities as everyone else. We have our own that even that person you might be jealous of does not have.

I know I can even relate this lesson to my weight loss. After losing a huge amount of weight I would compare my body to everyone else. Asking myself why I didn’t look and feel like everyone else. I have come to terms now though that my health journey is unique to me. As long as I am doing better than yesterday it’s all that matters to me. I look and feel so much better than I did before and just seeing how far I’ve come is amazing. It’s a learning process that’s unique to me and my life. Just like it is for someone else.

Remember that you don’t need to be better than anyone else, but just better than who you were yesterday. Who cares about them? You’re in this competition against yourself…no one else.

If we are all doing the best we can and daring to be better than the person we were before, that’s all that really matters. Whether that means being the bigger person like I tried to be or improving on a talent that you are special at, for some examples. Just do what is best for you and your life. Be a better you, for you! You absolutely deserve it!

Thank you all for listening talk to you next week dreamers,


Knocking Down the Bully


Hi Beautiful Dreamers,

If there’s one thing I’ve dealt with many times in my life it’s bullies. It’s funny as a child I only thought bullies existed when you are growing up, but the truth is that even though, yes, people do usually grow up, that there are still bullies when you grow up too.

When I was a little girl I was bullied over many stupid things. Kids would say all kinds of cruel things to me. Instead of defending myself though I would get so scared and just take it.

Years later I let this same thing go into my adulthood. I would let others boss me around and let them influence how I felt about myself. I even let this concept go into my personal relationships as well and I ended up in so many toxic relationships and would let the guy just run over me. I would give them the power to make me feel like I was nothing.

Many of you may or may not know I’m going through a divorce right now. It has been the most horrible yet the most wonderful process for me. You may think “Wonderful? Are you crazy?” Yes. I might be crazy, but let me explain why.

It’s because for the first time I’m not giving power to the bully. A few days ago my ex said some hateful things about me and at first it brought me down, but then I realized what he said wasn’t true. This made me really think. I always told myself that old quote by the very wise Eleanor Roosevelt “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” but it wasn’t until that moment I actually used that advice. I realized it didn’t matter what he said. His words didn’t have any power over me unless I gave them both that power. And I decided in that’m not going to give him that power over me ever again.

I then stood up to him. I had nothing to prove to him. As I know it’s wasting energy, but I was proving to myself that I was worth standing up for. That I wasn’t going to sit back and take the hate anymore.

The reason I’m sharing all of this with you all is so maybe you will learn something from what I’m going through. I want you all to know that no matter what you should NEVER I repeat NEVER give anyone the power to make you feel like you are worthless. There will always be bullies out there in this world that want to make you feel small. That get joy in bringing you down. That can’t understand something that is different from them. If they have to be mean and hateful I just want to tell you that is their problem not yours.

As I think about my situation I think about the story from the Bible of David and Goliath. Even if you aren’t a Christian I still believe there’s an important lesson from this. Goliath was a giant and no one could believe someone as small as David could knock down the giant. However even though no one thinks he can do it. He does.

Goliath was a bully and even though David could have played a victim of him like everyone else he didn’t. He stood up to him and proved everyone wrong. We all have that same ability. When someone bullies us we can fall a victim or we can choose to rise above it.

No matter what stage of your life you are in. Stand up for wonderful you! You are worth it. You don’t need to do it to prove the bully wrong. You need to do it to because you are worth standing up for.

Your voice is beautiful and deserves to be heard. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s ok. Just stand firm in yourself and your beliefs. Don’t let the opinions of others bring you down.

Well I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

Until next week, stay beautiful dreamers,

Amber ❤❤❤

18 Things I’ve Learned in 2018


Hey there Beautiful Dreamers,

It’s Amber here and this is the start of my new blog that I’m excited to share with you all. It’s also the start of the new year. As 2018 has come to an end I just wanted to take some time to reflect what I’ve learned this last year. The year of 2018 was truly a year I will never forget about. It has been full of a great combination of things- both good and bad. No matter what though I’ve learned so much from it all and wanted to share with you all some of what I learned.

I thought it would be fun to start this blog with 18 lessons I’ve learned from this last year. Since obviously it would take forever to write two thousand and eighteen of them and no one got the time to read that haha. Well here it goes…

1. Find What Makes You Happy


Life is way too short to spend it not doing things that make you happy. Even if it’s a little thing that makes you happy. The little things will truly add up over time. If you like going on walks outside then try to add it to your day. If you love to read spend time reading. If you want to sing..sing. If you like to draw, draw your little heart out.

You can find happiness everywhere if you choose to look hard enough. I used to think happiness was something you were just born with. As an adult I’m learning that happiness is a constant choice we have to make. Some people may have some genes that make them more prone for happiness, and may have things easier than you. At the end of the day though we all have hardships, and we all have a decision. Some of the happiest people that are out there in the world are not the ones that had the easiest life, but learned to be happy no matter what life handed them. They realized that being unhappy did nothing but bring even more disappointment to their lives.

Invest time in your happiness. Some may think this in some ways is selfish, but if you really think about it it’s not because when you do things in your life to make yourself happy then it helps make everyone else around you happy too. When you live your life in accordance to making yourself happy and not trying to make everyone else happy it totally changes your life around. Because at the end of the day you are responsible for your own happiness..not anyone else’s.

2. Grief Doesn’t Just Go Away Over Night


Grief. The dreaded word we hear as we go through a difficult process. Whether that be a breakup or the death of a loved one for example. Unfortunately in 2018 had to deal with the grief in both of those ways and honestly both of those things were some of the hardest things I’ve ever went through in my life.

I found that with grief at least for me it doesn’t happen all at once. Some times I’ll be absolutely fine and then it will hit me like a ton of bricks. You could be having a great time and something could remind you of that person. If you’re like me it could just be a song that comes on the radio and all of a sudden you’re crying singing to Mariah in your car hoping the people next you don’t think you’re an alcoholic.

The thing is yes grief is a stage of losing something, but the whole stage never usually goes all away. It just gets easier to deal with, with that good old Father Time. So if like me you wonder why you can’t just get over it. Know it’s a part of life and that it’s perfectly okay to have moments where you just need to mourn. It doesn’t mean you are means you are human.

3. The Real Friends Stay Through it All


These friends are the real MVPs. There are there through your good times and there for your 2 a.m. crying session. They are there by your side no matter what supporting you and loving you. My friend Sharon that I meet this last year is one of my best friends, because I know she’s there for me when I’m happy and also when I’m sad. She has stuck by my side even when I can be a negative Nancy sometimes and listens to me ramble on about countless things.

In 2018 I lost some friends I thought were good friends, but honestly they were very toxic. Even though sometimes I miss the good things about those friendships I’m so much happier without their toxic energy in my life. Losing friends is never easy, but you also need to think about you and your health. If you wouldn’t be like that to them then why would you let someone be that toxic to you?


Good friends will also comfort you, but at the same tell you what you need to (even if it hurts- which it usually does). One of my best friends til this day is my cousin Lynn because she tells me how it is even if I don’t want to hear it. Sometimes I’d feel so angry with her, because I didn’t want her to be right, but what I realized over time is that real friends will do that. Not because they don’t care. Actually the quite opposite. They love you enough to tell you things you need to hear even if they know it might make you mad, because just sugar coating it is not going to help you in the long run. So yeah it might hurt for a short amount of time, but I’m so thankful to her for always being honest with me and loving me enough to tell me the truth.

4. Exercise is Great Therapy

That being said it should’nt ever be a replacement to real therapy. 2018 was definitely a very hard


year for me, and I credit working out being a big factor on what got me through. For me the gym not only makes my body feel and look good, it helps me mentally more than anything.

When I tell people that I love to work out. Many of them don’t seem to get how much it means to me. To me working out is not just a place to get in shape it’s a place for self development. Both inside and out. If you can’t afford the gym I totally understand. There’s so many other ways you can work out that are cheaper as well. Like simply just going to the park for a good run.


If you can afford the gym I do recommend it though. I love being at a place where others are goal driven like me. I recently got into weight lifting and I can already see results which is amazing. I’ve always liked working out because when you work hard you can see results. Sometimes in school I got frustrated because I could study for hours and still do bad on a test, but with working out I got a satisfaction of seeing my weight drop or my muscles grow. It’s such an incredible feeling! It gives you a sense of pride and makes you happy.

5. Gratitude


I can’t be the only one who heard YouTubers say “gratitude” is the key to happiness and roll her eyes. As silly as it sounds its very true.

You might think you’ll be happier if you make a million dollars, but if you’re not happy now without it chances are you won’t be with it either. Gratitude is all about being thankful for what you have and appreciating it. Sure, we all want the nicer things in life, but too many of us get so wrapped up in wanting more that we don’t appreciate all the great things right in front of us.

Appreciate the friends and family who stayed beside you when they could have dipped. Appreciate the nice sunny day outside. Appreciate that you have that opportunity to go to school. Appreciate that you are not homeless. Appreciate that you have food to put in your belly. Appreciate your good health. Whatever you have no matter how big or small you think it is appreciate it, because some of those things you are taking for granted others wish they had.

6. Excuses Are Not Your Friend They’re The Enemy


Anyone who has been in my life for a long time knows that I used to be the Queen of Excuses. I could name off excuses like I was doing an intense rap battle. I realized in 2018 especially that excuses are just that they are excuses. They do nothing but waste your breathe and energy- that quite honestly could have been done to go towards what you were procrastinating on. Then by a blink of an eye you go from 18 to 78 years old having always coming up with the same or different excuses on why you can’t do something.

You may think that your problems are too great. That it’s too late for you. To those who think that I want you to watch a video on YouTube about Nick Vujicic. Here is a guy who has no arms and no legs and still decides to make the most out of his life and has such a positive attitude. This man has had every right to mope around and feel sorry for himself, but guess what he doesn’t and that’s very inspiring.

If you struggle with always coming up with an excuse to something. I challenge you to instead of thinking “Oh why do I have to do this?” think “I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to do this.” When you think of it in a place of gratitude instead of a place of pity it is a total game changer.


7. Tell Others You Love Them Even When You’re Mad

The other day me and my mom got into an argument. It’s actually quite humorous when I think back to it. At the end I said “I love you but I can’t talk to you right now because you’re making me mad.” No matter what just saying “I love you” can have such a powerful impact on us and the others we love. Even when I’m blistering mad at someone I keep in the back of my mind that if it was the last time we talked, I at least want them to know I love them.

We truly don’t know how much time we have left with our loved ones or how much time we have left here on the Earth ourselves. Since we don’t know when that time is up for any of us it’s so important to always take a chance to tell others that you love them.

I don’t try to live my life with any regrets. I believe everything happens for a reason. However I do wish in the past that I had taken more time to talk to others who were there for me and remind them that I loved them. I remember a few months before my cousin Lori died she had invited me to come over, but I was so obsessed with the guy I was dating at the time I choose not to. That now really gets to me because I should have taken that opportunity to spend more time with her. I just assumed I’d have more time with her, but that wasn’t the case at all.

That is just one example, but I’ve also done this with others in my past too. It’s not something I am proud of at all and in 2018 I’ve learned that it’s something I need to work on. So many times I get so wrapped up in myself and my problems that I don’t think about the others around me that I love and care about. I think many of us are like this to a certain extent. I’m just glad I’m finally getting awakened to this concept and that I am really trying to improve on it.


8. Trust is Built Over Time


I used to think you were just automatically supposed to trust everyone around you. I quickly learned growing up though not everyone around you can be trusted. As I got older I had a hard time finding a balance. I either wouldn’t trust someone at all or I jumped full in.

This year I learned that trust is something a person earns from you over time. Trust cannot be built in a day. I remember one of my exes that I was with for two years. I never would do the trust technique with anyone, but after being with him for a long time I actually trusted him enough to let him catch me, which I was never able to do before. I didn’t do that at the beginning of the relationship though. I knew him well enough after a while that he’d be there for me.

The relationship obviously didn’t work out, but there is a really important lesson from that. That true trust is earned over time. In my last relationship in 2018 I jumped in way too quickly trusting someone with my heart that I didn’t know very well yet. He then ended up being quite different than what I thought he was and I ended up getting very hurt because I trusted someone way to soon with all of me. This year I’m practicing the art of slowing down. I think I thought about how short life was and tried to hurry it all up, but true relationships are formed when we take the chance to grow and learn to trust each other over time.


9. You Have to Be the One to Change Your Life

Many people know I have had a dramatically transformation losing approximately 65 lbs. Weight was one of my constant personal struggles throughout my life. At the time of my highest weight of 180 lbs. I was deeply depressed and just so unhealthy.

I didn’t lose all my weight in 2018, but during that year I learned to be more mindful with my health. When I first started my weight loss journey it was mainly all about looking good. Which there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, but it’s so much more than that. I realized that working out and eating better helped make me healthier from the inside, out.

If I hadn’t decided and made up my mind to change my life though I would have never learned all of that. If you want to change your life, it all starts with you. Not with others. You can learn from others, and they can help you along the way, but ultimately the power comes from within you. You making the decision that you need to make a change.

I learned it’s the same way with prayer too. I could pray and pray to God to change my life, but what I didn’t realize is God already had given me the ability to change. I just wasn’t using it. So if you find yourself struggling to change look to others for help and guidance but also find the strength inside of yourself. It’s there inside of you even if you don’t realize it.

10. Love Isn’t the Only Thing That Matters


This lesson has been one of the hardest ones for me to grasp. It has taken me years of going through things and finally this year I’m seeing it clear when I couldn’t before.

At a young age I taught myself that if you love someone you can’t let them go. If you all have this idea set right now I’m here to tell you “Rose, let go of Jack.”

*Titanic Spoilers*

This movie is my favorite movie of all time. Everything about the movie is absolutely breathtaking. As I get older I now see that it also had many great lessons that I didn’t realize fangirling over Leonardo.

One of the biggest lessons is that even though Rose loved Jack she had to let him go to survive. That lesson is so true in real life as well.

I can’t tell you how many times I got into relationships and destroyed myself in the process. Honestly, I can say in all of my romantic relationships I lost myself in some form or another.

Some of the relationships were even abusive, but I stayed. I didn’t like crying every night. I hated the way I was talked to. I would barely eat because of the pain. So why did I stay? Because I thought if you loved someone you need to do everything you can to make it work. However I was wrong. In trying to help these men and try to be perfect for them I lost myself. I drifted so far from Amber that I trusted them before I trusted my own voice… and you should NEVER I repeat NEVER let anyone have that much power over you.

Just because there’s love there that doesn’t mean the relationship will work. I used to think love solved all the issues. That’s not the case. A relationship is about two people choosing to fight for one another and offering benefits to each others lives. Yeah you can love them, but if they are making you feel like crap every single day and you fight all the’s just not a good relationship. You can love someone at the fullest of your hearts desire, but just basing the relationship just on love it’s not going to work. Love is one of the biggest factors, but it’s not everything that matters in the relationship.


11. Focus on You Instead of Focusing on Finding Someone


I think many of us after getting out of a relationship go on alert mode.


Instead of focusing on ourselves and our own growth we jump from relationship to relationship. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent obsessing over guys. Going from guy to guy. Sometimes I almost wish I could go back in time and slap myself with all the time I wasted either seeking out a relationship or spending way too much time in the wrong relationship.

However I have learned from those mistakes very hard this year and realize it starts with me. I need to focus on what I need to do in my own life, have my own goals, and do my own thing. Then when the time is ready the right guy will come along. When it’s right it’s not going to be forced either- it’ll just happen naturally. But to just wait along until Mr. Right comes along is very stupid. Just because we all have so much more valuable things we could do with our time.

Instead of having a guy take you on a date..take yourself out on a date. I’ve gone to the movies so many times alone. People look at me weird when I tell them that. They tell me that’s really sad, but honestly I’ve done it so many times I really enjoy it to be honest. I also take myself out to eat. Go shopping by myself. Work out by myself. And guess what I enjoy it.

Yes, it’s important to have others around you, but it’s also so important to enjoy the time you have by yourself. I know so many people who lose their minds if they’re not hanging out with someone 24/7. God forbid they go one night at home by themselves. They might just go crazy. If this is you I urge you to sometimes just force yourself to do things on your own. It might be scary, but you’d be surprised by how much you’ll probably like spending time with you. You are an awesome human being so go hang out with yourself!


12. You Should Laugh as Much as Possible


The saying “laughter is the best medicine” is said for a reason. In some of my darkest moments I noticed that if a friend of mine made me laugh it could turn my whole mood around. I think that goes for many of us that when we laugh it can help turn our moods around. Just like you should try to be happy every chance you get you should try to laugh as much as possible too.

Even if that means watching YouTube videos that make you laugh. Even if it’s…Baby Shark. DO IT!! Watch a comedy. Go hang out with friends that make you laugh until you start to cry. Watch a funny episode of SNL. Make a baby laugh. A babies laugh will not only make you happy, but will probably make you laugh too, because they are probably laughing at you doing something completely stupid. Like the words of the great Shia LaBeouf “JUST DO IT!!!”

13. Try New Things


Whether that be just doing something different with your hair like I have done so many times in my life that even my mom said “What color is your hair this month?!” I find it’s very important to try as many new things as possible even if it’s small. It could be even try something on a menu different then what you usually get. You never know, you could like something better, but you will never know until you try.

If 2018 was full of one thing. It was me doing things I haven’t done before. Meeting new people. Working new jobs. Merging on terrified me at first. Trying new foods. Going new places. Doing my makeup differently. Trying a new workout. I have many things that I tried during 2018, but we all don’t got the time for me to list all of them. Big or small. The point is that even if I did make some bad decisions (which I’m not recommending by any means) I was doing things I’ve never done before. I tried things I wasn’t sure about at first and learned through those experiences if it was good or bad.

We learn by going out and doing different things. If we sit around doing nothing all day or fall into the same routine we don’t really learn anything by it. We learn by challenging ourselves to going out and trying new things even if they are scary at first.


14. We All Have a Choice


Every day we all have a decision on how we live each day. We can spend each day bitter, hateful, full of regret, negative or we can live happy, cheerful, forgiving, excited.

I’ve learned that has its ups and downs. The thing about the downs though is we have the decision whether we let it destroy us or let us make us stronger. There are bad things that happen to all of us without our control, but what we do have control over is how we respond to all of it.

Many of the happiest, most positive people are not people who have had the easiest life. Most people who are positive I find have went through many difficult things but learned through those events that it’s better to look on the bright side than the negative.

We could all sit down wallowing in self pity if we all really wanted to or we could rise above. The choice is yours.


15. Success Isn’t Built Sitting on Your Butt

As much as I’d love to be successful just laying back doing nothing that’s not how it works. If you want to succeed in anything you need to put in the work for it. My whole life I’ve been a huge dreamer. I’ve always dreamed of doing incredible things. But did I do those incredible things? Most of them no, because I didn’t put in any action into it. Dreaming is great. It’s important to dream, but if you want to make those dreams a reality you need to stop dreaming and start doing.

Anything that I have actually succeeded in doing in my life required me to put in at least some action. For those of you who don’t know I’ve lost about 70 lbs over a short amount of time. If I didn’t put hard work of eating healthier and moving more then I would have never lost any weight. It’s all because I decided to do something.

It’s almost funny how most of us think that if we just sit there hoping things will come to us that they will. When you want something to eat out of the kitchen does it magically just come to you? Unless you have someone bringing it to you it usually requires some type of action of you getting up to get the food. It’s the same with the stuff we want in life. If we want it we need to go after it.


16. Your Time is So Valuable


I feel like when we are children we don’t really realize how precious time is. I remember looking at a calendar as a small child seeing how far away Christmas break was and it was 2 weeks away, but in my mind it felt like a whole year. I think back to that every now and then thinking sometimes I wish I still had that view, because anymore it seems like time goes by way too quickly.

As this last year has ended and just turning 24 I now realize that life really does go by in a blink of an eye. That being said what you do with that time is so important. Are you going to spend that time begging for that guy that doesn’t love you, to love you? Are you going to go out and party every night instead of going to school? Are you going to spend all your time obsessing over how someone did you wrong?

We all have one life on this Earth. And one things for sure with me..I’m tired of wasting my energy on things that don’t don’t serve any good in my life. Life is way too short for all of that.


17. Cherish the Time You Have With Your Loved Ones


I mentioned this a little bit earlier, but it’s so important to let others know in your life that you care. One of the biggest ways you can do that is by spending time with those you care about whenever you can. When I flew home recently I got to spend a lot of time with my cousins and the night before I had to leave I started to cry. The reason I did was because I realized how important it was to be a part of their lives.

Since I was living in a different state I sometimes got so caught up with what was going on here that I forgot a big part (my family) was back home, and that even though, yes, they live very far away right now it’s still so important for me to make time for them all. Even if it’s just sending them a short text or Snapchat. Any time that you can spend with your family or friends is very precious.


18. Do the Best That You Can


Not the best that someone else can do. All that matters is you do your best. All of our journeys are different here on the Earth. Many times we all get caught up in comparing ourselves to others (myself especially included) that we forget that we are not like everyone else. The plan for our life is unique to us. We may wish we could have somebody else’s life, but we were given our own life for a reason. Whatever reason that’s for we should all try to make the most out of it by living it to the best of our ability.

There will be some days your best is just to sit down and cry. Guess what? That’s okay. There will be days you where your best will be killing it. That’s okay too. We are so hard and critical over ourselves that we forget that as long as we are doing the best that we can that it’s alright. It doesn’t matter if Sally over there is riding in a limo to the Grammys. What matters is you are doing what’s best to your ability. And if that’s riding in a limo to the Grammys…then by all means go after it.


That’s All Folks

0120192020d1399590986.jpgAlright so there you have it. The few lessons I have picked up over this past year. I hope you all have enjoyed this read and that you all have a beautiful day dreamers!

Until next week, stay beautiful dreamers,

Amber ❤❤❤