Positively Optimistic Day #89- I’ll Show You

“Every time I step onto the stage, it’s not only proving to the audience that I’m capable but to myself.”-Misty Copeland

I don’t know about all of you, but throughout my life I’ve been told I can’t do things. I’ve been told I wasn’t good enough. Some people might take people saying these things and go down a destructive path. However; most of my life I have used the hateful things people have said about me and proved them wrong.

Some people might wonder how I’ve found motivation. And I just have to admit much of it comes from wanting to prove people wrong. When I was first losing weight for example I would just think about the names people had called me. When I did this I found I could push myself harder. Especially when exercising. I could hold on longer because of my strive to prove those people wrong. I would also notice I could stop myself from eating bad food choices by using this method as well.

Today I want you all to think about something negative someone said to you and use your energy to prove them wrong. Now this being said they are already wrong about you. Their mean words do not define you. What I’m trying to say is use it to fuel your fire. Use their negative energy and turn it into something positive.

You can look throughout history and you will see that about all the greatest names that ever existed were told they couldn’t do something or were told they weren’t enough. Instead of going into a sea of self pity though they used it as fuel to do something absolutely incredible.

If you are feeling down about what people have said or how they have treated you just keep in mind that most of the greatest felt that same way. But like them you have to make a decision. Are you going to let it defeat you or are you going to use it to do great things? The choice is yours lovelies! Just know you deserve all the success in the world and don’t just prove to others you can do it…prove it to yourself!!

Sorry this blog is short today everyone. I’m on such a lack of sleep right now haha.

But like always I’ll talk to you all tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #88- Growing Together

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”- Benjamin Franklin

Over the years I have found that the people that you’re around can really influence you. They can influence you either in a negative way or positive way. Or sometimes both.

Let me give you an example that could go either way. For example you are trying to lose weight and you have friends around you that will influence your journey. On one extreme your friends could hinder your progress by always bringing you junk food or always wanting you to go out to eat. Or you could have friends that encourage and motivate you. Maybe they want to lose weight to do they start going walking with you. Or your one friend might already be on their fitness journey and can help you learn ways to achieve your goals.

This is just one example, but as you can see by that the people you’re around can really influence you. I feel that’s why many people turn to unhealthy things like drugs. It may not be because of peer pressure, but it might just always be around you so it’s harder not to try it when it’s just always there in front of you. It’s like if someone would dangle a candy bar in front of you everyday.

The people you’re around can really have an influence over you whether you realize it or not. I’ve seen it countless times in my life and other people’s lives. One example from my own life is that my mom is a very negative person. I love my mom to pieces, but this is just how she is. I remember going from a happy, go lucky child to an extremely negative one. I’m not blaming everything on my mother, but I do acknowledge that I watched her a lot and picked up on her bad, negative habits.

Later on down the road I saw how destructive it was for me and decided to change my old negative habits. Which I’m still working on haha. I have learned that even though I love my mom more than words can express I have to limit how much time I talk to her if she’s being negative, because I know that’ll bring me down. I want to stress never feel bad for having to put a limit or in more drastic cases cut someone out because of what it’s doing to you.

In one of my past relationships it was very abusive and I stayed in it thinking that I could help that person change, but like my mom preached to me (and I didn’t listen about) you can’t change a person. It has to be that persons choice to change.

However; you can help a person grow. In fact that’s one thing I love about the relationship I’m in now. We challenge each other to do better and be the best versions of ourselves. But we don’t try to change each other. We just inspire each other to do better and that’s what a healthy relationship is about. Regardless of if it’s a romantic relationship or not you should surround yourself with people who help bring you up, not down.

I understand if you have some circumstances where you can’t get out of people bringing you down. Like if you’re under 18 and can’t leave your house. In that case just do your best to ignore whatever negative thing they are influencing and look outside your home to find people to help you grow. That is one thing that really helped me get through when I was younger. I found people to help motivate me to be better and help me grow.

My challenge to all of you today is to look at the people you have in your life and really ask if they bring you up or down. I also want you to think the other way around. Do you bring positive energy to others? If not I dare you to go out and find people who will help encourage you. And if you could improve start now. What are you waiting for? You have so much good to offer this world darlings!

I hope you all have a great day today!

I’ll write you all again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #87- Appreciate Your Self

“Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.”- Zoe Kravitz

I feel like many, MANY of my posts have to do with growing your confidence. The reason why is because I have personally struggled with it to the extreme and I know how much your confidence can effect your life.

In one of my posts I wrote not to long ago I talked about how you should just rock what you have physically. That if you think you look beautiful then no one else’s opinions matter. That the way you look is unique and you should embrace it to the max. After all no one else in the world looks like you..so show those lovely features you have off. Screw whether the media or people tell you it’s not beautiful..you make it beautiful by just showing your confidence in it. And by showing your confidence people will start noticing that and come your way.

Today I wanted to take this a little farther than your physical appearance though. Love the things that have nothing to do with what you look like. Because in all honesty looks only get you so far and as you get older they will fade. So it’s very important to love yourself besides your outside appearance.

I want you to think about what makes you, you. What is different about you that you love about yourself? This can be as random or as strange as you want it to be. Here is a weird example of myself. I like things crunchy. I remember as a little girl my mom would make spaghetti and I’d have my dad heat it up in the microwave multiple times to give it that crunch. He would always find it weird or even tell me I couldn’t eat it like that, but regardless he would still do it anyway for me. As strange as that example is I love that about myself because I’m still like that today and it’s a weird quirk I’ve always had about myself.

I also want you all to think about your personality. What do you love about it? I personally love that I love to help motivate others. If someone is down or feeling like they can’t do something I love being able to show them a little of what I see in them. And tell them all the special traits about them. For you maybe you’re funny. Or maybe like me you make yourself laugh. And to be honest that’s all that matters. If you can crack up at your own lame jokes I feel like that’s a very confident trait.

If you can’t think of anything you are confident in yourself with go out and try something. Go pick up a hobby for example. You may never know you could find your calling by trying something new. While you grow confident by doing it. And if you don’t like it you can always find something else to do and find confidence in.

My challenge for all of you reading this is discover the beauty that is you. Inside and out you are beautifully, and wonderfully made. From the top of your head to your toes. There is no one else in the world that can be you except you so go out and show yourself off. Show off your amazing smile. Slow off your bubbly personality. Show off your crazy guitar skills. Show off your writing that you’re meant to share with the world. Whatever makes you, you let it shine out for all to see.

Talk to you all tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #86- Behind Your Smile

“Nothing shakes the smiling heart.” – Santosh Kalwar

Ever since I can remember I’ve always been a person who smiled a lot. It was just always very natural for me. To the point sometimes in my life it’s annoying- because I don’t want to smile at certain moments of my life. Even as a kid my one teacher gave me the nickname “Smiley Amber.” Smiling generally means you are happy. And for the most part I’ve always tried to be positive around other people; yet behind my smile I would hide all the pain I really felt.

I have found that other people can be that way too. I’ve gotten so good at reading people that now I usually can spot a fake smile from a real one. Now I would say many people like myself have real smiles; however, even though they’re smiling it doesn’t reflect on how they feel inside. Now why would they be smiling if they weren’t happy? Many reasons. I mostly find it because of two main reasons: they don’t want people to ask them what’s wrong, and two they don’t want people to feel hurt like they hurt.

Many times we can walk around life and just put on a smile and people will just assume we are happy. I can’t tell you how many times my friends have thought I was so happy when in reality I could have been fighting to just get out of bed at that time. It was sometimes really annoying when I moved down here I’d post stuff on Facebook about working at Disney and people would just think my life was perfect and I was so happy. Yet at some of those points during my program I had gone through hardships that only a hand full of people knew about.

My point is people can show that they are ‘happy’ on their face or by doing other things..when in reality they’re not. This just hit me hard recently. It hit me that I’m smiling again because I’m actually happy not because I feel like I need to. I’m finally being able to be happy about most of the areas in my life. I have my days still. But it’s amazing on how far I’ve come. Even how far I’ve come since I’ve started this blog has been incredible. I’m more motivated than ever to grow my happiness to more than I ever thought to be possible.

The message I want to leave with you all today is to go out there and really smile. Go find things in life that light you up and ignite the flame in you. You can still smile to help lift other people up, but I want to challenge yourself to really smile because you feel happy from the inside out. That’s your most beautiful smile. And guess what?! You most definitely deserve it!

Write to you all tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #85- A Piece of the Pie

“Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.”

– Jana Kingsford

Over the years I’ve learned something about life and that is everything in your life needs a balance. I like to think of life as a whole pie. Then you take it and cut it into pieces. These pieces are the things that matter in your life. Now each slice of pie may not be perfectly cut. One piece may have more than the other, but you get to decide which one does. You get to decide which pieces of your life you want to make more time for and other parts you don’t need quite as much time for.

So many times I’ve liked to put “all my eggs in one basket”. Meaning I put my all into one thing in my life, but then I end up neglecting the other parts of my life that matter too. Many time I’ve done this with my romantic relationships. I would give up everything else that mattered to me like my family, my friends, my writing, my effort in school, my spiritual growth, music, etc. I would put everything on the back burner.

Let me tell you this is one of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is putting all your energy into one thing alone. Life is meant to be lived fully not just in one area. If you put all your energy into only one thing that is just a path for self destruction. I’m not saying if you do this for example in a relationship that’ll ruin it (although it certainly won’t help it), but it’s just not healthy.

I learned much about balance by my weightloss journey. I had to figure out how to balance my eating. I also had to figure out how to balance exercise into my life. I had to add those two factors to the things I already had going on in my life.

One of the best pieces of advice I can give you all is to add balance in all areas of your life. I know one thing that helps me is having a planner. Write down things you want to accomplish during the day and stick to them. Also leave certain times to just spend time with your significant other, your family, or friends.

It may take some time to get in the rhythm of finding balance in your life, but once you do I promise you will be grateful you did. Just think of your life as a pie and divide the pieces in the order of how they can benefit your life. Only you truly know how big or small you should divide them all.

Write again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #84- Spread Your Wings

Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost legendary. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent.”

– Calvin Coolidge

Today I wanted to share with you all about just being able to spread your wings and soar. You have no idea how many people I’ve seen just throw away their precious gifts that they have to offer the world. They give up instead of just spreading their wings and learning to fly.

What people fail to realize is that unlike a bird sometimes we have to make a few attempts before we can actually fly. This is where people get frustrated and quit. They quit because they thought it would be easy or they thought that they would automatically know how. The truth is we are all learning though.

The difference between the successful person and the unsuccessful person isn’t their talent level. It helps, but that only gets you so far. What really sets them both apart is that one gives up while the other pushes harder. I’ve listened to countless self help videos/ books and many of them have showed this point. Is that the successful person did whatever they had to do to get to their goals while the unsuccessful person folded in the towel.

If you all can learn anything from me learn to not throw away all you can offer this world. You may think you don’t have what it takes, but I’m here to tell you that you do. You have in yourself now all you need to accomplish whatever your heart desires. You just need to do two things which are don’t give up and to work as hard as you can. When you do those two things you’ll come out winning I promise. It may not happen the way you always wanted it to happen or it could take a long time to accomplish, but with you focused and doing whatever it takes to get there…there’s absolutely no stopping you.

Ignore whoever tells you otherwise. People might think you are crazy to go after what you want. And maybe you are, but guess what all the best people are! (Yes, I know that line was totally from Alice in Wonderland haha).

My point with this blog is that I’ve seen too many people waste their talents because to get to their dreams was too tough. And I’m telling you don’t be that person. Be the person that goes out fighting and won’t give up until they get there. Think of it like the Rocky movies. He gets knocked down in the ring. And if you’re anything like me as a kid you’re just like “Rocky get up! You’re not really going to lose to that asshole are you?!” Then out of no where Rocky makes this epic recovery up and boxed the crap out of the other guy.

Be like Rocky everyone! Don’t give up when you feel like you’re losing. Because that moment you feel like you’re going to crack is the moment you need to go harder because that’s the moment you’re going to shine. Well that’s all I got for today everyone.

Have an Eye of the Tiger day today and I’ll talk to you tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

P.S. if you don’t know the song Eye of the Tiger have you been living under a rock?! Haha

Positively Optimistic Day #83- Past Experiences

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”- Buddha

I wasn’t really sure what to write about today, but then it came to me. I want to write today about not letting your past experiences define your new ones. This has really hit me hard lately. As I have told you all I have met somebody and today we made it public that we are a couple.

I’m so happy with him. But in a way that is scary to me, because I have been happy with someone before and have had my heart shattered. In the back of my head I keep thinking “Well this ex left you for another girl. Or this ex just used you. Or this ex hurt you really bad.” My mind keeps replaying past experiences of painful events with guys, but then I remind myself something very important…he is not any of my exes. And it’s not fair to treat him like he is.

He’s already proved to me that he’s not like anyone else I’ve meet before. I already know he’s very special and I’m excited about every day I get to have with him. I could go on gushing on how much this guy already means to me, but I think you all would be like “just get a room.” Haha.

My point is sometimes we hold on to old negative experiences too long that we push away other good experiences that could come our way. I know many of you reading this have been hurt before too. Maybe not in a relationship, but in other ways. Trust me I know how hard that is. I’ve been hurt so much in my life.

But remember just because you have one negative experience doesn’t mean it’s always going to happen that way. For example you might tell a joke and nobody might laugh at it, but then you tell the joke to another group of people and you get a burst of laughter from them all.

The idea behind this all is don’t push away a good opportunity because you are scared it will go bad like it has before. Yes, things can still go bad in your life. That’s just life and that really sucks when bad things happen. But you can’t let the fear of something bad happening rob you from enjoying the present moment.

This has been hard for me to learn this, but meeting him has changed my outlook on this. And I realized that this is true for not only relationships but everything else in life. So gents go ask that girl out! Woman be that independent lady you are because the right guy will accept you for who you are! Don’t be afraid to go to the gym if you’ve been laughed at before. Don’t be afraid to speak up when you felt like you weren’t heard before, I promise one day they’ll be someone out there to hear you!

We’ll have a great night everyone!

Talk to you all tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️