Positively Optimistic Day #98- Perfection

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“I know who I am. I am not perfect. I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. But I’m one of them.”-Mary J. Blige

So I just wanted to come out and tell you all something….

“I’m not perfect.”

Obviously I’m not perfect, but I just wanted to admit it to all of you and myself. Especially myself. Because whether I want to admit it or not I want to be perfect in all the things that I do, but that’s just never going to be possible. No matter how much I want it to be true.

I can’t tell you how much I compare myself to others. I feel like I could win a prize in the “I compare everything about myself to another person” contest. So many times I see these other woman who are around my age and just think they are just the definition of perfect. They look like a freaking Victoria Secrets model while kicking ass in their careers. While most times I feel like I look like a potato just struggling to get by.

I look at them and their lives and feel this envy because I’m not like them..I’m not perfect. The thing though is nobody is. Except Jesus. But you get what I’m saying haha. I know many woman and even men deal with this. Feeling like they are inadequate compared to other people. I mean nowadays it’s hard not to feel like this.

All you have to really do anymore is look on social media and “boom” here comes jealously. Look at Sally Pintobean over here. (Yes I know that is a horrible last name but work with me) Sally posts that she just got married to Brad Pitt, she moved into a gigantic house, drives a really nice car, has her dream job, she can’t take a bad selfie, has traveled all around the world, is rich, and on top of it all she’s expecting her first child…all before turning 25. This is an extreme example, but you get where I’m getting at.

We see peoples “perfect” lives on social media and when we compare them to our lives we feel less then. The thing about that though is yes, Sally Pintobean may have a good life, but she also has problems too. For starters she was bullied about her last name for a very long time. She has gone through abusive relationships in the past. She wasn’t always so pretty. She has had a miscarriage. She still struggles with feeling good enough too. Yet we don’t know any of this because Sally doesn’t tell everyone.

We look at everyone else and think “man they have it easy” or “their life is so perfect.” But the truth is we are all going through things. Some of us may have it harder than others, but no ones life is truly easy. We all have to deal with insecurities no matter how beautiful we are, we all have to deal with loss of loved ones, we all have to deal with hurt that life causes us.

I want to challenge you all today to stop thinking you wish you were like so and so. When those thoughts creep in just tell yourself they are not perfect either. No matter how perfect they might seem. And I want you to remind yourself how much of a beautiful person you are both in and out.

I have a great example of this from my life today. I went to an interview for a job that I really want and while I was there I saw all these woman who looked flawless and had their lives put together. I then went into my interview and then the interviewer asked me the question “why should we pick you out of all the others who I’m interviewing today?”

Then all of a sudden an answer came over me that might have seemed conceited, but it wasn’t.

What I basically said was:

“I’m not like anyone else. For a long time I felt like that was a bad thing, but through my journey I’ve learned to embrace it. And to tell the truth it would be the companies loss not to hire me, not mine.”

After I said that I felt like it sounded like I was full of myself which was far from the truth. I’ve just learned through my life that I am worth something. I used to believe I was worthless. But now I can look at myself and know that after everything I’ve been through I am worth so much. And if any job, person, or anything can’t see that then they aren’t worth my time. I realize now I deserve so much and I refuse to settle for less. I want you all to feel the same way about yourselves.

That’s all I got for today!

Talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #97- Where Did You Go?

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 “When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” Eckhart Tolle

First of all I wanted to apologize to you all. This is the first day in which I’ve forgotten to post my blog. I had wrote most of it yesterday but had forgot to post it so technically I’m still keeping up with writing everyday it just wasn’t posted on time. I’m human though and I knew it was bound to happen at least once during this year haha.

I’m going to be better about keeping up with it though. Which oddly enough runs into the topic that I wrote about. So here it goes.

I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in things that we forget about ourselves in the process. For me a big struggle with this in the past has been getting in a romantic relationship and dropping everything for that relationship. As you know already that was the worst idea on the planet. We are human beings and our life is supposed to be about balancing all aspects of our lives.

I’m gradually learning now with my boyfriend that I still need to work on my balance. I would love to spend all of my time with him, but I also have to remember I have other parts of my life I care about too. In fact, that’ll probably make them want you even more. Why? Because they were drawn to those things about you before you even became official. They were drawn to the things that made you, you. Which are your passions, your interests, your personality. So you are doing each other a favor when you work on other areas of your life.

The point I’m trying to make with all of this is don’t give up anything in your life that makes you happy for any person or anything. Besides people you can also get to wrapped up into things like your job. Where it just takes up all your time and you ignore your hobbies and your relationships that bring you joy. Giving up anything in your life that makes you happy for one area is just not good for you. That’s why I wanted to talk about this topic today. Because we don’t tend to think about this but it’s so important.

I challenge you all to apply balance to your life like how I’ve talked about here and my other posts related to balance. It’s a very important thing to have. It not only helps you but everyone around you too. Because it’ll make you happier in the long run and your happiness will rub off to other people too.

Well that’s all I got for yesterday (haha sorry again everyone),

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #96- Admitting You Need Help

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“By admitting your inadequacies, you show that you’re self-aware enough to know your areas for improvement – and secure enough to be open about them.”-Adam Grant

The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem and you need help. Seems so simple yet it’s not. It’s not easy admitting you have a problem or that you need help. I know this from personal experience.

I’ve gotten better over the years about it, but for so long I’ve tried to conquer everything on my own. Including my issues. Lately it’s hitting me hard that some things I deal with need to be addressed and not ignored anymore. I don’t know about you all but I certainly go through times where I just pretend everything is ok when it’s not. Like that one meme where the cartoon dog is saying everything is fine when his house is in flames.

Today I want to challenge you all to be brave enough to accept your weaknesses and be willing to work on them. To not be afraid to ask for help from others who can help you. Be brave lovelies! It’s worth it just like you are!

Talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #95- Too Good to Be True

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“Today remind yourself that nothing is too good to be true. Your great hopes can be realized. Your most wonderful dreams can come true. All that you really need, you can have. An incredible goodness is operating on your behalf. If you are living a paltry life, resolve to stop it today. Expect great things to happen.”

– Norman Vincent Peale

I can’t be the only one in life who’s felt like they were on an episode of Punkd when something good happened to them. It’s like “Oh yeah I won this new car..totally..now where is the hidden cameras?!”

It sometimes feels like we have so much crap happen to us all the time that when something good comes along it seems like a joke. You want to say “…just wait for it.” However; I want to tell you all that good things still exist in the world and no you are not on an episode of punkd. You don’t have to live your life thinking that everything positive that happens in your life is an April Fools joke.

If something good comes into your life I want to challenge you all to stop questioning it a billion times and except it. After all you deserve it! You deserve all the happiness this world can offer you. Even if you don’t believe it is so.

I think many of us are just so scared to be happy because there’s a risk we could get hurt in the process. We have to decide if out happiness is worth that though. I have been through much hurt in my life. But thinking back now I much rather have happiness and get hurt then to have never experienced it at all. Plus if you refuse to be happy you still experience hurt anyway. With that logic “why not be happy?”

The only one that can get in the way of you and your happiness is you. You are the only person who can accept it or not accept it. So instead of saying for example an opportunity you may receive is “too good to be true.” Challenge it with “I deserve this opportunity.” If someone new comes into your life stop thinking “well look how it went with everyone else.”

Just stop the inner conflict in your head and just start to live in the moment. Don’t give your happiness all away.

Until tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #94- Decluttering Your Life

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You ever notice how good you feel after cleaning something? The feeling of accomplishment. I don’t know about all of you but after I get done cleaning it’s one of the best feelings. It helps me feel so much better. There’s just something so satisfying about removing trash and clutter out of somewhere.

What’s amazing is you can do this same thing in your life. If something is “cluttering” your life you have the power to remove it and feel so much better. Whether the clutter be something or someone. We all know something that is causing us to feel down.

My challenge for all of you today is to remove something that does you no good from your life. Maybe it’s an old habit you need to kick. Try replacing that with a new one instead. Whatever the negative thing is just remove that junk from your life.

Sorry for the short blog for today guys busy day but as always talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic Day #93- Fighting for Your Life

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“Start by doing what’s necessary, then do what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – Francis of Assisi

Today I wanted to take a chance to write about something pretty hard for me to talk about. I feel like if I talk about it though it will hopefully help one of you out there reading this and hopefully myself in the process. I’ve been open and honest with you all that I have dealt heavily with suicidal thoughts and tendencies. What I haven’t been open with is I still deal with suicidal thoughts.

My life has really turned around. I’ve got down to my idea weight. I eat healthy. I’ve made great friends. I got an amazing boyfriend! I got a job and a roof over my head. I have family who I know is there for me. I have this incredible blog where I’ve grown so much through and of course all of you wonderful readers who follow me on this journey!

Yet with all of there wonderful things I still with many inner demons. I’d lie and say if I don’t still struggle with feeling like everyone would be better off without me or how I could end my life. It’s been something I’ve felt for a very long time. I’ve seen therapists to help me through this and have taken medicine for it. In the back of my mind I thought if I just did one thing it would make all the pain go away.

The matter of it all is that there is no one thing that’s just going to make it all go away. The pain may never go away entirely. What I can do though is use every skill I have learned and apply it to my life. What I can do is bring in people and things in my life that motivate me. What I can do is set goals in my life to make my life feel like it’s worth living. What I can do is to do things for myself to show self love.

Life isn’t perfect and neither are we. At the end of the day we are all just human. And sometimes all we can do is just simply not give up. I can’t tell you how many times in my past I would just sleep to just not have to deal with the pain that was there. Some of the greatest accomplishments I have made is just deciding to get out of bed.

That may seem small to some but I don’t care. It’s big to me because every thing no matter what you do to take a step towards the right path is huge. I want you all to never, ever feel like taking just a little step in the right direction is too small. No- celebrate that! Celebrate you are taking one step closer to getting where you want to go.

Tonight I went on another walk and something just came over me. I just felt love. I felt a since of hope I haven’t felt since I’ve been a child. It was like God was right there telling me that everything is going to be alright. Like he was giving me a hug filled with so much love. In that moment everything seemed so beautiful! I stopped looking at all my problems for a second and just stopped to appreciate and be grateful for everything around me.

I started looking at how beautiful the sky was. How lucky I was to have certain people in my life. It then made my depression fade away. All because I made a decision to go out and walk instead of feeling sorry for myself.

I want to challenge you all if you all battle anything like depression like me or are just going through such a hard time I just dare you to do something. Go do something positive. You may not feel like it or feel like you don’t deserve it even. But I dare you to do it anyway. Get up out of that bed! Do something that will help you. Because you deserve it.

Much love and I’ll talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️

Positively Optimistic: Day #92- One Step at a Time

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“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”-Lao Tzu

Today I went on a walk with a lot on my mind about my future. I was frustrated looking at where my life is compared to where I want it to be. Sometimes it feels like I’m just going no where.

I thought about this and I realized many people my age and older feel this same way. We see where we want to be, but we’re not there yet and it’s frustrating. You just see the vision and all you wish was that there was a magic button you could hit to just be there already.

Even though this idea is such a tempting idea. I want you and I to challenge it though. I want us to instead of viewing that we are not there as a bad thing, view it as a good. Life is truly a journey and the journey to get you to where you are going is what’s important.

If we got where we wanted to go automatically life would be boring. Also being able to go through different things on your path makes you discover yourself better. I know I wouldn’t have as good of an understanding of myself if I didn’t go through many things in my life.

I might sometimes think “why can’t I be at this point in my life already?” But then I remember life is a journey not a destination. The ride to where you’re going is more important than you’re actually stop because you learn so much more through that.

My advice to all of you is just take everyday one step at a time. Set goals and go after what you want but at the same time just enjoy the ride you take to get there.

Thanks for listening and I’ll talk again tomorrow,

Amber ❤️❤️❤️