No matter who you are we all receive critics or what the cool kids call — the haters. I don’t think anyone still says haters, but I’m just going to run with it anyway haha. Back to the point of today’s post is that at some level we all receive some form of criticism by others. It truly doesn’t matter how perfect or beautiful you are on the inside or the outside you will always get someone somewhere that will say something negative about you. Just by you simply existing you are going to get judged– whether you know it or not.
Now you may be thinking “Amber why are you telling me people are going to not like me?” The reason I am telling you this is not so you can feel horrible about yourself, but because many of us worry everyday what other people think about us. My point is if it’s true that not everyone will like us no matter what we do then why do we still try to impress these people? We know deep down not everyone will like us or accept us yet it doesn’t stop us most times from trying to create this perfect version of ourselves hoping to get everyone to like you.
Yes, people pleasers, I am talking about you here. I am also calling myself out here as well. I’ve spent so much of my life trying to be what others wanted me to be that I wasn’t who I wanted to be. Over the years this people pleaser mentality has gotten way easier to manage. The more I get older the less I care about trying to impress others because I learned that even if I were to fit this “standard” I would even then receive hate. When I realized that I would not be liked no matter what it helped awaken me to the idea that I might as well live my life the way I want to live it. There’s a famous quote that says “I rather be hated for who I am then loved for what I’m not” and that is the exact concept I live my life by now. I live my life for myself and my dreams now, not anyone else. Because at the end of the day the real people will love you for who you truly are.
Now, people pleasers, I want you to think about how many times you have given up something you wanted to do or changed yourself for someone else. Probably too many times to count I would guess. You let other people’s opinions define what you could do and who you could be. You want to make others happy and in return you give up on yourself.
I’m here to tell you all though that no matter what people have said you should or shouldn’t do or who you can or cannot be– DOES NOT MATTER. In case those who are in the back can’t hear me THEIR OPINION OF YOU DOESN’T FREAKING MATTER. You were put on this Earth to be you — not your parents, not your family, not what your significant other wants you to be, not what the popular girl at school says, not the people on social media trying to write you hate comments says, etc. The only person’s opinion that matters is YOURS. Their words only hold value if you give it value.
If you want to go be an astronaut — go freaking be an astronaut. If you want to go become a famous singer — go do that. If you want to own a cat cafe — go build it. If you want to be an Uber driver — do that. The point is do what you want to do. Maybe your parents want you to be a doctor or lawyer and you know that’s not for you. Follow what’s true for you. At the end of the day it’s your life and do you really want to spend the rest of YOUR life trying to live for someone else. You can do that if that’s your choice, but you also run that risk to never be truly happy because you are not doing what is aligned with who you are.
I don’t know about you dreamers, but I don’t want to live the rest of my life needing permission from someone else. Don’t let those critics (haterz) discourage you. Don’t let them tell them you are not good enough to live your truth or that your truth is a waste of time. You are good enough and it’s not a waste of time because you were given that dream for a reason. Like Selena Gomez says in her one song ‘who says you’re not perfect, who says you’re not worth it,’ for real because whoever says that to you is wrong. They are wrong, dreamers.
Have a great rest of your day,