Hi Dreamers,
Do you ever have a theme song of what you’re going through in life right now? Through different stages of my life I’ve had songs that have really spoke to what I’m going through at the time. Music has always been the one thing in my life that I feel like can relate to me even when no one else can relate.
A current song I have really felt related to is Miley Cyrus’s new song “Flowers” (If you couldn’t tell already by the title). This song is trending and usually I’m the person who doesn’t like to keep up with what everyone else likes. When I heard this song; however, it felt like it was written at the moment I really needed to hear it. Much of my past of had this kind of anxious, attachment love style when it comes to relationships. As a kid it would be friendships. I would try to hold on to a certain friend and then they would end up ditching me, and then as I got older this similar pattern happened in my romantic relationships.
Dating has been challenging for me, because sometimes I get so attached to a person that it feels like my world crushes when they are gone. Recently I had a similar situation happen in my life. My extinct is to go back to the old way of thinking “my life is over” mentality. But as I have been reminding myself recently is that my life isn’t defined by someone else. My life is defined by me, and how I choose to live it. My life is so much more than finding the perfect someone. I have a great life and my life is great with or without a significant other in the picture.
Lately when I feel myself slipping into the old, attachment style that I’m trying to break free of I sing the lyrics to the song “I can buy my own flowers, I can hold my own hand, I can talk to myself for hours.” I remind myself with those lyrics that no one can give me happiness. It is something that I give myself. Happiness that you put in the hands of others can be taken away, but the happiness you give yourself is eternal.
I know that one day that I will find my special someone who loves me like I deserve to be loved, but even the day when I find them I never want to leave my happiness to them. They can add to my life, but I will never let a guy be the reason I can be happy again. I’m finding happiness through dating myself and I couldn’t be more happier/ prouder of me gradually overcoming this attachment style I’ve lived with for so long. I’m finally breaking free and it feels so good!
Later Dreamers,
Amber
DreamCatcher 